somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

55. She Was Right All Along! May 31, 2012

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:32 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)


I am 24 years old.


I am married.


I have 2 children, boys ages 2.5 years and 7.5 months.


I stay home (for now, in the fall I go back to being a full-time student).


I am not sure what class I qualify as. My parents are very educated, but my husband and I don’t make a lot right now. I’ll go with middle.


I live rural.


I own.


I completed undergrad, and am now studying to become a registered nurse.


I am straight.


Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: My dad’s side of the family is English and came over on the Mayflower. My mom’s side is mostly Irish immigrants!

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I’m the oldest of six children and was homeschooled until 7th grade. Although I complained then, I’ve decided I want to do the same for my children and have our lives based on family.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Two under two! It’s been wild, but I love watching my boys play together. My advice is just to roll with the punches – don’t make plans or flower arrangements, and for God’s sake, no glass coffee tables.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. The state of our world. Young men, especially, are falling by the wayside as there are more temptations and less leaders to show them the way to grow.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). My baby fell out of the bed while co-sleeping. I spanked my two-year old.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Making broad, meaningless, sweeping “advice” comments to other mothers. All it is, is angling for more attention for themselves.
  6. I am happiest when I sit with my husband, the love of my life, and see God, the original love of my life, in the smiles of my children, the two newest loves of my life.
  7. I am saddest when I see children suffer.
  8. My biggest fear is that my children may suffer, too.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My father for emotionally and psychologically damaging my mother and siblings.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  Shut. up.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I weigh 180 lbs.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  The way I react in anger far too quickly – I strive to be Christ’s love in my actions every day.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My natural birth!
  15. I wish that people would open their eyes.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  She was right all along!
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Let your children be children.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I respect God, I love His personification in Jesus, and I pray that the Holy Spirit would show in my life. I struggle with remembering this every day.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I will be 30 lbs lighter!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I think. A lot.
 

49. I Am Grateful Almost Every Day For It All February 4, 2012

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 12:19 am
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)

I am 29 years old.
I am married.
I have 1 child. Here are their ages/genders: 4/F
I work part-time.
I am lower middle (in my area, but I guess some geographical regions might consider us upper middle).
I live suburban.
I own.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight-ish.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: white.
 
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Independence, DIY ethos.
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Be patient, give YOURSELF a time out if you must but try to be understanding to your child instead of just insisting on a certain behavior.
    3. Something that concerns me about my child.  Cavities.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Spanking and yelling.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Putting infants in daycare.
    6. I am happiest when I have a little work but can get it done and hang out peacefully with my kid and have had some time to work out, too.
    7. I am saddest when I have no office work, my kid is acting up and I am feeling the ennui.
    8. My biggest fear.  My emotional weirdness will affect my kid more than my love and positive attention.
    9. I am ashamed of having hit my kid.
    10. Something I need to forgive.  I have already forgiven being hit by dad and ex-husband, neglected emotionally by parents at critical times and cheated on by husband (with other men, so it wasn’t that bad).
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I am often so lonely and not as together as I seem (I do a really good job of keeping it together on the outside.)
    12. Something I have never told anyone.  Nothing, I have confessed or told one thing or another to someone.
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  Being calm and more stoic.
    14. My biggest accomplishment.  Marathons and giving birth with no drugs? Making it through college living on my own, paying my own way after marriage at 18, abuse and divorce? Doing my own legal work for my divorce at age 20?
    15. I wish I had more answers.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  It’s OK to be a nosy, butting in mom. Better than being hands off and having the kid be adrift. Stick up for your kid.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Don’t hit your kid.
    18. How I would describe my faith life.  Meh.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  Kid’s cavities will be filled and she won’t have more, I’ll weigh 10 lbs less and have my emotions under control.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am grateful almost every day for it all.
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. How on earth do people manage to have happy lives, with time for themselves and all there is to do, when they have more than one kid?
 

47. Who are you? Other than mom. December 1, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:20 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).


I am 40 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 kids.  All boys.  12, 8 and 6.  I also had two miscarriages that I don’t want to leave out.  They were a huge part of who I am too.

I stay at home.

I am upper-middle.

I live rural.

I own.

I completed high school and all but my senior year in college.  I had a fiance that I wanted to turn into a husband and just couldn’t be troubled with finishing school. 

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background:  I’m white and southern. But, not in that icky stereotypical, racist, redneck way that’s so unappealing.  

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I sort of raised myself. My mom died when I was 12.  I am only child.  And my dad dropped out by the time I was 15.  He spent most of his time with his girlfriend in our vacation home 3 hours away.  I was on my own for weeks at a time in high school.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Take time for yourself.  Do whatever it takes to give yourself a regular day off.  Preferably with a friend. I know that date nights and what not are important to marriage, but friend time is important to self.  If you want to remember who you are, spend time with a good friend.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I worry about one of my sons being too feminine.  I’m not homophobic at all. But, am afraid he’ll be picked on and hurt.  He’s a fantastic, loving kid. And I hate the idea that someone might not love him because of that.  And I want to throw up when I imagine someone hurting him for who he is. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  I have two.  My father passed away and I lost a baby the same week.  After a few weeks, I went out with friends and drank way too much.(This is not my norm.) When I got home, my husband had to run out for work for a bit.  I threw up and couldn’t get out of the floor in the bathroom.  I was there with my 4-year-old and he was scared to death.  Hands down, worst parenting moment.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I know some mothers that don’t seem to take responsibility for raising their kids.  They pass it off to the grandmothers and anyone else who’ll take up their slack.  I don’t get it.  Why become a mother if you don’t want to parent?  It’s not required. 
  6. I am happiest when I’m traveling.
  7. I am saddest when I feel overwhelmed by the housework.
  8. My biggest fear is of something happening to one of my kids.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.  I used to have a really good figure.  I had a lot of my self-worth tied up in it.  I had a really nice rack and a flat, flat tummy. And I got lots of attention for it.  And now, I am 40 pounds overweight.  I hate running into people who used to know me when I looked like myself.  But, even though it embarrasses me, I don’t do the work to make it better.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Some people who have taken advantage of me (and are taking advantage of me) in business situations.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  You are evicted.  You cannot blackmail me anymore.  Get out.  And go away. If you want a vacation house, get a job and buy one.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I am a total open book.  I tell everything.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I want to be more organized.  I am a train wreck in the organization department and I’d love to make that better.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is doing a great job with my boys.  I’m a good mother.(Except for the drunken mess when my oldest was 4).
  15. I wish we could sell everything and travel from here on out.  I’d love nothing more than remaining on a family trip forever.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  I learned that it can end too soon.  Make it count.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That even if it’s hard, you don’t drop out. You’ll screw up the people you love most if you do.  
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  It ebbs and flows.  At times, I’ve been all over it and very devout.  At other times, I hardly give it a second thought.  Presently, I’m not giving it a second thought.  :(  
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I hope that I’ll be living that dream of being on the road.  We’re working on it.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  There’s much more to me (and all moms) than what you see.  Look past the spit up and calendars and extra pounds and there’s still an individual in there.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Who are you?  Other than mom.
 

40. Things Can’t Be Unsaid or Undone October 5, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:27 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 27 years old.

I am living common law with my “hubby” (fiance).

I have 2 incredible boys, aged two and three.

I am a full-time domestic engineer!

I am middle upper (not sure why that is relevant?)

I live in an urban city, but in a northern rural area.

I own.

I completed highschool and some post secondary education (university).

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Canadian, (Newfoundland). Heritage is Scottish, Irish and English.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My family. and remembering where my “roots” are. 
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. It’s ok to ask for help. If you do, it doesn’t make you less of a mother, or a woman. It’s ok to not know everything. Life is a learning experience. We never have all the answers, and no one does. Take everything with a grain of salt.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. I always fear that I could be doing more. Whether its teaching more, playing more, loving more, cuddling more, snuggling more. My fear is that they will one day feel it was never enough. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). When we had to bring my son to the emergency room to have his finger glued together. We were busy with the other child while visiting my parents, and my youngest got hold of her razor and cut his finger open. I was mortified. 
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Lack of support. It seems there is ALWAYS someone judging someone else about SOMETHING. Whether it’s breastfeeding, discipline, baby wearing or whatever else….It always seems we find fault in the way others do something. 
  6. I am happiest when I am with my family. I love just relaxing with them, playing with them, just BEING with them.
  7. I am saddest when I think too much about life. There are just so many injustices in the world, and only so much I can do. It makes me sad to know how well we have it here, just for the luck of being born here. I want to be able to help everyone, but I can’t physically do that. It upsets me and frustrates me. Overall, if I think about inhumanity around the world, it  makes me sad. 
  8. My biggest fear. Failing as a mother/wife/woman/daughter/sister, etc….and spiders :)
  9. I am ashamed of things in my past. But am slowly learning to work past them. 
  10. Something I need to forgive. My father. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I love you despite the hurt you have caused me and my family. 
  12. Something I have never told anyone. Can’t tell it here either ;)  
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My physical appearance (lose weight) and my mental well-being. (being more positive). 
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My children!!! 
  15. I wish that one day my children (or grandchildren) can live in a war-free world, without hurt caused by others.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That encouragement is needed for children to thrive.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Things can’t be unsaid or undone. So choose your words and actions wisely.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Spiritual, but not religious.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Be happy with myself, and live for myself and my family. Not to be so concerned with what others think.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. That when the world feels like crumbling, the touch of someone you love can easily strengthen the entire universe.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

29. Trying to Enjoy the Preschooler Amidst the Madness August 21, 2011

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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 44 years old as of June 21!

I am married.

I have 1 daughter age 5 – 1 step-daughter 19 – 1 step-son 17.

I work full-time.

I am lower.lower-middle.middle.upper-middle.upper.  I have no idea how to judge this…we are not poor, but we are struggling right now a bit.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed my undergraduate degree in March 2010.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am German-Norwegian Minnesotan Lutheran.  Typical blond.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Pretty unremarkable childhood, parents still happily together, one brother, lived in the suburbs.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Which part?  The teenage step-daughter you need to just ignore is being a brat?  The teenage step-son smoking pot?  Or trying to enjoy the preschooler amidst the madness?
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  See above.  I really like when the step-daughter is off at college – the boy is fine now, just does stupid boy things from time to time – and I try to spend as much time with my child as possible.  I worry sometimes that my daughter is too sensitive, and other times worry she is too bossy!  ;)
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Realizing I yell like my mother did sometimes.  :(
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. When they go ON AND ON about this or that class they have their kids enrolled in – I don’t care.
  6. I am happiest when I am doing something fun with my daughter and husband…often she and I go places alone because he was not brought up going to zoo’s, museums, plays, etc.  I was.
  7. I am saddest when my daughter cries over something.
  8. My biggest fear. Losing my child.
  9. I am ashamed of. That sometimes I wish my husband would die at work.
  10. Something I need to forgive. That my husband does not know how to save money…
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. That I don’t like her husband or how he talks to her.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. That I wish my husband would die at work…its terrible and I don’t really mean it, but sometimes when I am mad I think it!  Just hideous.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My weight.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Getting up this morning or any morning.
  15. I wish. I could find a new job.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. To be silly sometimes and not worry about the mess so much.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Enjoy the places to go in your own backyard.  Dad always found festivals, carnivals, museums, etc for us to go to.  I buy him and my child tickets to plays when I can…he loves it.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I like to go to church, but I need to get back into my own faith study instead of just teaching Sunday School.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My weight and my outlook.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I really am a pretty happy person, but I have bouts of negativity when people “do” things to me that I feel I have no control over.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

27. I have a big family and I LIKE IT! August 15, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 6:34 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 34 years old.

I am married.

I have 7 children. Here are their ages/genders: 12M, 10F, 8M, 6F, 4F, 2F, 2mo. M

I stay home when I’m not running kids to various sports etc. ;)

I am upper-middle class.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed highschool and a tech school for dental assisting. I’m a college dropout though because I could never pick a major for more than one semester. 

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background. So very white.

My blog URL. http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Hmmm. This is a tough one. I suppose my upbringing was pretty typical and boring. Is that significant?
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Laugh. Not that I always take my own advice, but when the kids are screaming and the straw that breaks the camel’s back gets dumped all over the newly cleaned kitchen floor, it’s always better to laugh. And take lots of deep breaths. This too shall pass.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Letting them out into the world. I’m not a “keep ‘em close at all times” kind of mom, but there is some scary crap out there. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Oh geez. Which one? I have never professed to be a perfect mother, but probably the worst moment was screaming at my two-year-old because she had gotten into the nail polish and gotten it all over the carpet, walls…you name it. When I stopped and looked at her terrified face, it broke me. It was definitely not a mother of the year performance on my part. 
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Their need to prove themselves. We are all just trying our hardest, why not be comrades instead of competitors?
  6. I am happiest when my children are happy.
  7. I am saddest when I screw up, as in #4. I hate that I’m so human sometimes.
  8. My biggest fear.  Alienating my children when they are teenagers.
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that sometimes I don’t even want to be around my children and pray they’ll go play at someone elses house. 
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Myself. Every day. I am so hard on myself and my downfalls. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Back off lady, I have a big family and I LIKE IT!
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I don’t know. I’m pretty open.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Yelling at my kids. I hate doing it. And yet, by the third time I tell them to get in the dang car, I lose it. I think I need more patience. 
  14. My biggest accomplishment. I ran my first half-marathon last spring. I am NOT a runner. (Ok, maybe I am now, but I wasn’t.)
  15. I wish I could go on vacation for a month to the beach and have someone else do all the hard stuff like packing and cleaning and cooking. I just want to sit and watch the kids play.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. It’s never easy.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. That it’s ok to disagree with your kids and it’s ok to apologize when you mess up. 
  18. How I would describe my faith life. So very important, but not always as much as an active role as it should be. 
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope to have lost my baby weight and be training for another half-marathon
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  People think I’m amazing because I have so many children. I have a lot of people who either look at me like I’m crazy or are in awe. I am neither a crazy woman (ok, so maybe that’s up for debate) or a woman to be in awe of. I take one day at a time and I do it imperfectly. I do the best I can and I am constantly learning, sometimes the same lesson over and over again. I love my children and I love my life as it has turned out, but if you asked me when I was young what I wanted in life, who I am is not the answer you would have received. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. How do you find ways to be happy in the every day monotony of motherhood?
 

26. Not Everyone Gets That Chance August 12, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:42 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 48 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 step-children, 41 & twins who are 39.

I am retired.

I am middle class.

I live suburban.

I own my house

I completed high school & some college.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am Caucasian but consider my ethnicity as simply American.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing:  My mother died when I was young – but I also was lucky enough to have a wonderful step-mother.  They both made a positive difference in my life.  I am truly lucky to have two such amazing women in my life – not everyone gets that chance.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  I have grand children at this point – enjoy them….they’ll remember these days!
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren).  They work hard, sometimes too hard in today’s word.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment.  The day I sent my (step)son off to war.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I have seen some with a tendency to either ignore or yell at their kids.  I understand frustration and anger, but mostly, they want you to listen and your understanding.
  6. I am happiest when my husband is happy.
  7. I am saddest when my husband is sad.
  8. My biggest fear. Getting lost.  I have a GPS in the car.  Hubby bought me a new car with an installed one as soon as they came out…isn’t he sweet?
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that I am not as generous as I can and should be.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My brother.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I would like to tell my mother that dying well was one of the best gifts she’s ever given me – she gave me the patience to help some of my older family members take their final step.  I don’t mean to be a downer, but this truly was a magnificent gift….
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Dang, I’m an open book!
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to be a healthier person through good nutrition and exercise (hence the blog).
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Marrying a wonderful man who I still adore after 28 years.  Serving my country in the US Marines.
  15. I wish.  Honestly?  For peace on earth, good will towards men.  All our problems would be solved….  Oh, I’d like to win the lottery…but who doesn’t?  I have PLANS for that money!
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  LOVE.  Simple and unconditional. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That you can change as you get older.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I am Catholic.  It is one of the many things that define me.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  That I will be healthier and somewhat thinner, my blog will have grown and I am going to England next year…WooHoo!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am happy – truly happy.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What’s your favorite food?  What’s your favorite thing to cook?  (they’re not necessarily the same thing)
 

24. There is No Better Teacher in the World Than a Parent August 5, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:12 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)

I am 64 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 boys, 43 and 32.

I work at home.

I am middle upper.

I live in a rural area.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I lived in 7 addresses the first 11 years, both Midwest and Texas.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Be respectful to your children when they have children.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Nothing. They are great parents.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). When my older son was 2, we took him to a park. At some point in the afternoon, I let him get out of reach and he decided to run away  straight for a cement lock with no fence.  A bystander realized I could not get to him before he fell and ran to scoop him up and bring him back. The potential was terrifying. I didn’t let him get out of reach the rest of the afternoon.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Nothing, unless they hit their children.
  6. I am happiest when I have my grandchildren with me.
  7. I am saddest when it has been a long time since I’ve seen my grandchildren.
  8. My biggest fear. Not getting to finish my goals.
  9. I am ashamed of not figuring out how to get close to my mother.
  10. Something I need to forgive. I need to forgive myself for not being a perfect mother.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. To my roomie, who died of breast cancer, leaving behind 3 young children, “I miss you.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I think my feet are perfect.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Losing that last five pounds.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Learning how to fly.
  15. I wish I was fluent in Chinese and French.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Babies cry; it’s ok.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  There is no better teacher in the world than a parent.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. You are what you do.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Financial results will let me reach a big goal I’ve been working on for five years.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn¹t been captured by the questions above. I love to write.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What advice would you give grandmothers?
 

23. My Husband is a Key Part July 31, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:11 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 39 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: 5-year-old girl, 2-year-old boy

I work full-time, but from home.

I am upper-middle.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Your basic whitey with a dash of Native American.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Divorced parents as long as I can remember. Both parents are extreme opposites.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Don’t forget how freaking cute they are, when you’re super frustrated at their incredible lack of self-control.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. I worry about my children learning empathy. A LOT.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Let’s see, I cut my 3-month-olds toenail too far and it never grew back. That same child now knows that “f**k” is what you say when you’re really, really, mad. She’s 5.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. The inability to put yourself — sympathetically — in another mom’s shoes unless she shares your dogmatic  beliefs.
  6. I am happiest when I’m surrounded by my happy family.
  7. I am saddest when I worry about my family.
  8. My biggest fear is that any one of them, at any time could be taken from me.
  9. I am ashamed of my anger at my kids when they embarrass me in public.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My own mother for not teaching me that kids should be allowed to make mistakes. (And adults, for that matter.)
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. “I swear to god, my kids are not usually like this.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I’m really scared my daughter will marry the wrong person.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Oh god. Let’s see. Patience, and my weight. In that order.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Teaching my daughter how sexism works, but still putting a positive spin on men and women and how they work together. That’s right, in pre-school.
  15. I wish Supernanny, Jo Frost could live with us three days out of every month.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That while perfection should never be a goal, it should always be a consideration. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Even the biggest f**k up has kids that love him.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Pure as the driven snow.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My pre-schooler will stop acting like a teenager.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. My husband is a key part of my health, my happiness, and my children’s happiness. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. I’d like to see moms answer the question: When did you decide you were ready to have kids? I decided about three months after I met my husband, and not one second before. I hate that that sounds a little bit like I need a man, because it’s more about me not trusting men, then my dependence on men. But basically, I wasn’t going to do it alone. And thank god I found the right person to do it with. Otherwise, honestly, I never would have.
 

22. The Love of Family July 30, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 12:50 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 53 years old.

I am married but sometimes am a single mom.

I have 1 child. He is 12 years old.

I work full-time.

I live in a small town which is very near a larger city.

I rent a town home.

I completed graduate school with an MA in English.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am an American with German ancestors.  My husband is Igbo, which is a tribe in Nigeria.  And my son has a little of both of us.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my up bringing. The love of family. My family was so wonderful that if I had to choose to stay at a friend’s house or stay home with my family, the family usually won the coin toss.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Enjoy it because time flies.  Keep in mind everything you do or that or child experiences follows him in his life as a part of his personality.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren).  I have spoiled my son since the day he was born.  I am worried about his attraction to stuff. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  My worst mothering moment was when my son had his first seizure, his first round of tics, and when he was diagnosed with diabetes.  Each event crushed me.  What more can a little boy take?
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Advice given as a put down and judgmental.     
  6. I am happiest when. I am happiest when I watch my son lovingly interact with my husband.
  7. I am saddest when.  I am saddest when my son is in pain or distress with his medical issues and learning disabilities.
  8. My biggest fear.  My biggest fear is that I will die before I have my son ready for life on his own.
  9. I am ashamed of.  I am ashamed of nothing.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  I need to forgive the person who took my family farm.  Even though it has been 16 years, I am not ready to forgive.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I wish I could tell my boss to stop being so paranoid and throwing me under the bus.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I have a memory from when I was very young when I was in our neighbor’s house and I recall me being in his bedroom with the neighbor’s son, playing on the bed and the man had no shirt on.  I can’t remember much about what happened after that.  When I was older I learned he had some really unusual sexual habits.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to lose weight.  I have been on a diet my whole life.  I swear I was born 50 pounds.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Getting my masters degree and being the first person in our whole extended family to get a post-graduate degree.
  15. I wish. I wish my son was well and did not have learning disabilities.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Kindness and love are the most powerful things a mother could give.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  There comes a point that you have to let your children go on their own, but the parent will always be there if needed.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I am an explorers of many faiths, and hold onto the commonalities that exist between all of them.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope we have a new home that we own.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I am an author and have a blog.  I love technology and am a gadget freak.  I take pride in who I am, regardless of my flaws.  Some day, when it is the right time, I want to move to Africa.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What are your special interests?
 

 
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