somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

5. I Wish to Slow Down Time… June 15, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 9:16 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 47 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: Two boys, 15 yrs & 19 yrs old.
I work two part-time jobs.
I am middle upper.
I live urban.
I own.
I completed a diploma in secretarial arts.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: nothing noted.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Came from a traditional background, both parents worked full-time, one sibling a younger brother, always felt safe, loved and cared for.  Felt my parents were too strict, not enough flexibility.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Listen to them always, no matter what the age, they have a voice and will constantly surprise you with their views, insights and sense of humour.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Not having enough self-confidence, believing that they can do anything they set their minds and hearts to.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). For my oldest watching him make choices that are not so good in my opinion, drinking, drugs, partying 😦 I know I did the very same things, but as a parent it is heart breaking to watch. For my youngest, feeling him slip away into his life, not wanting to be around me, go places with me, even be in the same room watching T.V. lol, miss his constant need for me to be there for him.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Controlling, being impatient, or bragging. Your child/children will always humble you usually when it is the most embarrassing.
  6. I am happiest. When they were younger, playing games with them, bike riding, watching movies, reading to them, snuggles, watching them learn.
  7. I am saddest. When they see me as a naggy mom, use hurtful words.
  8. My biggest fear. That for whatever reason, they don’t find what makes them the happiest, or  not being passionate about life and not staying in touch with me or their siblings.
  9. I am ashamed of. Nothing. There was no handbook given to me when I choose to become a mom, only my experiences growing up and listening to friends, etc. So each new day, year, gives me another chance to make changes or to try again!
  10. Something I need to forgive. My parents, as I feel they never let me believe in myself.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Try to always express my feeling to my kids, as you never know what tomorrow brings.  But right now, not knowing what to say to my 15 yr old who is going through his first love/heartbreak.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. That as much as I treasure being a mom, I wonder what my life would have been like without them?
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. More self-confident. Not striving for bigger, better, etc. Just being present in the now.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Finally allowing myself at 47 to find out what I am passionate about.
  15. I wish. For my children, husband and my family to continue loving one another, being non-judgemental, forgiving those who may hurt us, not holding onto negative feelings, or thoughts, giving much love and kindness each day to the people we meet. 
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. To reach out to those around you.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. To be positive, do things for others, caring, a sense of humour, support.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. We all have the ability to be good, kind, loving beings – what you put out into the universe comes back to you.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Find a career/job that make me happy and fulfilled.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I wish to slow down time, as the past 19 years have sped by, not really capturing where I am now as a mom. Truly wish I could have been more present with each new phase they went through. What a gift I  have been given, two beautiful souls given to me to love and watch grow. I can only hope for grandchildren, to experience it again!
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What made you want to become a parent?
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One Response to “5. I Wish to Slow Down Time…”

  1. somemother Says:

    In answer to your Q21… I think for my husband and I, we both knew it was time for everything to not be about us anymore, if that makes sense. We always knew we wanted to have children, but this recognition that something “bigger” than us needed to happen was really behind the timing. Thanks for asking, and for this great post… it is easy as someone with small kids, to overlook the bigger picture that is coming my way sooner than I can imagine…!


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