somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

13. I Want to Go Back to Being ME July 8, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:24 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 26 years old.

I am married.

I have 4 children. 10yo(g), 7yo(b) 4yo(g),15m(b). 

I am middle-upper.

stay home/work at home.

I live rural.

own.

I completed certificate of competence.

I am straight. 

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian/American.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringingNot much to really note. Divorced parents, father in the US Army, mother nurse, lived with mother but she wasn’t that close to me.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of childbearing that I just went throughBabysit a bratty 10 year old girl before you ever think of having a child. The older ones are trouble.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren). That they now only have one living grandparent. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Marrying the father of my son after he 9 months old, we were not together during pregnancy and needless to say divorced in 6 months
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Single mothers who are so busy looking for a husband they do not have time for their kids or themselves.
  6. I am happiest when. I get sleep of some kind and wake to happy babies not fussy under-rested ones. 
  7. I am saddest when. I feel like I have failed as a mother and do not have time/money for activities they want to do. 
  8. My biggest fear. Death.
  9. I am ashamed of. Not caring what I look like anymore.  
  10. Something I need to forgive. Myself.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Just go… be yourself.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I never pictured myself with kids, if I was a normal teen with activities and got more attention I would only have one child right now.  
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. I want to go back to being ME and not who everyone else wants me to be.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Buying a second home at 26. So ready to start new closer to “home.”
  15. I wish. My mother was still here, we didn’t really argue, she was just focused to much on finding a “new man” that she made herself depressed and lost that battle. 
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. Tell your kids you love them every day! No matter how old they are. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Even if you are not there due to time, work or money you can still be the best father in the world.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. n/a
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I will have a little more money for fun and my children will have friends over that they can see/spend the day with whenever they would like.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am not afraid of life/divorce. I have only been in a few long term relationships and 2 have ended in children and splitting up/divorce. Yes I was young but I did what I had to for my child even if that meant dropping out of school and working two jobs. I think all moms need that feeling of “If I had to do it alone, could I ?” Yes you can!
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Did you always want to be a Mother?
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2 Responses to “13. I Want to Go Back to Being ME”

  1. I absolutely agree about everyone being able to do it on their own. People ask how I do it alone and I can only say, “you just…do. because you have to.” I am truly stronger because of being a single mom!

  2. Sam I Am Says:

    About #12: I felt like that too, sort of. I pictured myself with lofty goals of going to college, meeting my future husband, settling down the “right” way, etc. Then I got to college and was absolutely clueless, left after 1 semester and ended up with my bofriend and pregnant at 18.(I graduated a year younger than everyone else). I think if I had had even one person truly guiding me I would not have ended up 19yo married with a kid, then going on to have more kids and 2 failed marriages. The lesson for others: you MUST continue to guide your child through life to give them a chance to really live it!!


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