ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 29 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: Boy, 3 years – Boy, 6 months.
I stay home and work a full-time job as an executive director from home.
I am middle-middle.
I live urban St. Louis.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
- The most significant aspect of my upbringing: I was the youngest of three. I was treated like the “baby” and I therefore acted like the baby. And sort of still do. I get bitchy and whiny when I don’t get my way and I’m always seeking attention from those around me.
- My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. For those with infants, do what works for you. If you’re not comfortable with something then it’s not going to work. Don’t let articles in magazines or even your best friend tell you how to raise your child. Always follow your instincts. For anyone with a three-year-old, be patient. Find your inner peace. Just when you think things can’t get worse, your child will turn three.
- Something that concerns me about my children. That he is learning everything from me. Children learn everything from their parents. I know I’m not a perfect person and it scares me that my sons will pick up my worst traits instead of my best.
- My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Any time I have yelled at my children. I hate losing my temper and always regret it later. There are certainly times that calls for a loud, stern voice; but losing my control and yelling when I could handle it differently definitely bothers me.
- What annoys me most about other mothers. When they assume. They assume you make decisions for certain reasons and they really have no clue. Why not ask a question instead of assuming whatever you want. I am a mother that chose not to breastfeed. It wasn’t because I couldn’t or shouldn’t. It was because I didn’t want to. And I’m a firm believer that if I don’t want to do something and I try to do it just because society thinks I should – it’s not going to go well. But leave it to other mothers to question my decision. Anyone else didn’t think twice about my choice, but almost 90% of all the other mothers thought my reasoning was absurd and found the need to tell me.
- I am happiest when I get to pee alone.
- I am saddest when I feel alone at two o’clock in the afternoon. Every. Single. Day.
- My biggest fear. That my children will not be who they want to be because they feel the need to impress others.
- I am ashamed of the amount of time, or lack there of, I give to myself. I believe mothers are better mothers when they put themselves first. If you feel good about yourself, then you can be a better mother to your children.
- Something I need to forgive.
- Something I wish I could say to someone. I don’t want to f**king talk to you! This is mostly for my neighbor who comes to my house every day while my son is taking a nap and I am trying to get work done. But I hear myself saying this in my head to more and more people every day.
- Something I have never told anyone. Unfortunately, I can’t really say that I have an answer for this one either. I don’t keep secrets. I’m not a gossip – that’s different. But I can say that I don’t keep anything to myself. I am an open book. Definitely don’t tell me your secrets.
- Something I am trying to change about myself. My weight. This is such an obvious answer, but it’s a true one. And I know it resonates with many mothers. We have a hard time excepting our new bodies after babies. It’s sad, but again, it’s true and we shouldn’t deny it. I’m slowing working my way to feeling healthier and hopefully losing a few pounds in the process.
- My biggest accomplishment. That I’ve stayed married to the same man for five years. Laugh all you want, but I’m serious. I was what you call a “serial dater.” I think the longest relationship I had before my husband was a year. The rest usually lasted no more than three months. Actually, my husband and I were engaged after three months of dating and married within the year. We moved fast, but we knew it was the real deal from the start. I never saw myself married or with children. I always thought I’d be living the single life in the city. Now I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
- I wish I wasn’t a worry wart. I don’t know how to be satisfied. I’m always trying to fix things and I’m certainly the most over-protective mother you’ve ever met. I need to take a chill pill sometimes.
- Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. My mother was my best friend. I found I could tell her anything. I hope to raise my children the same way. It was such a comfort.
- Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Just because your stern and have rules doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. While my mom was my best friend, my father was the opposite. He was the enforcer and made sure I didn’t get into trouble growing up. It was a good balance between my mother and father.
- How I would describe my faith life. Not really sure how to answer this. If we’re talking religion, then I have to tell you: I’m atheist. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have faith. It just means I have a different kind.
- Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Can we go back to the weight thing? Plus I’ll be turning 30 in a few months so I’m hoping I’ll have that different feeling. Like I’m finally an adult. I still feel like a teenager sometimes. A teenager with a never-ending babysitting job.
- Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I am who I am and it doesn’t bother me if other’s don’t like me for who I am. I believe everyone is different, not better or worse from others. We are all unique and we should embrace that.
- BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. What is your most embarrassing moment as a mother?