ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 39 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: 5-year-old girl, 2-year-old boy
I work full-time, but from home.
I am upper-middle.
I live urban.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Your basic whitey with a dash of Native American.
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
- The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Divorced parents as long as I can remember. Both parents are extreme opposites.
- My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Don’t forget how freaking cute they are, when you’re super frustrated at their incredible lack of self-control.
- Something that concerns me about my children. I worry about my children learning empathy. A LOT.
- My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Let’s see, I cut my 3-month-olds toenail too far and it never grew back. That same child now knows that “f**k” is what you say when you’re really, really, mad. She’s 5.
- What annoys me most about other mothers. The inability to put yourself — sympathetically — in another mom’s shoes unless she shares your dogmatic beliefs.
- I am happiest when I’m surrounded by my happy family.
- I am saddest when I worry about my family.
- My biggest fear is that any one of them, at any time could be taken from me.
- I am ashamed of my anger at my kids when they embarrass me in public.
- Something I need to forgive. My own mother for not teaching me that kids should be allowed to make mistakes. (And adults, for that matter.)
- Something I wish I could say to someone. “I swear to god, my kids are not usually like this.”
- Something I have never told anyone. I’m really scared my daughter will marry the wrong person.
- Something I am trying to change about myself. Oh god. Let’s see. Patience, and my weight. In that order.
- My biggest accomplishment. Teaching my daughter how sexism works, but still putting a positive spin on men and women and how they work together. That’s right, in pre-school.
- I wish Supernanny, Jo Frost could live with us three days out of every month.
- Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That while perfection should never be a goal, it should always be a consideration.
- Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Even the biggest f**k up has kids that love him.
- How I would describe my faith life. Pure as the driven snow.
- Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My pre-schooler will stop acting like a teenager.
- Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. My husband is a key part of my health, my happiness, and my children’s happiness.
- BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. I’d like to see moms answer the question: When did you decide you were ready to have kids? I decided about three months after I met my husband, and not one second before. I hate that that sounds a little bit like I need a man, because it’s more about me not trusting men, then my dependence on men. But basically, I wasn’t going to do it alone. And thank god I found the right person to do it with. Otherwise, honestly, I never would have.