part forum. part confession. part celebration.

23. My Husband is a Key Part July 31, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:11 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 39 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: 5-year-old girl, 2-year-old boy

I work full-time, but from home.

I am upper-middle.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Your basic whitey with a dash of Native American.



  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Divorced parents as long as I can remember. Both parents are extreme opposites.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Don’t forget how freaking cute they are, when you’re super frustrated at their incredible lack of self-control.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. I worry about my children learning empathy. A LOT.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Let’s see, I cut my 3-month-olds toenail too far and it never grew back. That same child now knows that “f**k” is what you say when you’re really, really, mad. She’s 5.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. The inability to put yourself — sympathetically — in another mom’s shoes unless she shares your dogmatic  beliefs.
  6. I am happiest when I’m surrounded by my happy family.
  7. I am saddest when I worry about my family.
  8. My biggest fear is that any one of them, at any time could be taken from me.
  9. I am ashamed of my anger at my kids when they embarrass me in public.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My own mother for not teaching me that kids should be allowed to make mistakes. (And adults, for that matter.)
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. “I swear to god, my kids are not usually like this.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I’m really scared my daughter will marry the wrong person.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Oh god. Let’s see. Patience, and my weight. In that order.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Teaching my daughter how sexism works, but still putting a positive spin on men and women and how they work together. That’s right, in pre-school.
  15. I wish Supernanny, Jo Frost could live with us three days out of every month.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That while perfection should never be a goal, it should always be a consideration. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Even the biggest f**k up has kids that love him.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Pure as the driven snow.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My pre-schooler will stop acting like a teenager.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. My husband is a key part of my health, my happiness, and my children’s happiness. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. I’d like to see moms answer the question: When did you decide you were ready to have kids? I decided about three months after I met my husband, and not one second before. I hate that that sounds a little bit like I need a man, because it’s more about me not trusting men, then my dependence on men. But basically, I wasn’t going to do it alone. And thank god I found the right person to do it with. Otherwise, honestly, I never would have.

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