somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

38. Looking Like the Devil September 27, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:08 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am  45 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children. 6 and 9 Girls.

I  work part-time. 

I am middle middle. 

I live urban. 

I own.

I completed high school and a certificate in Graphic Design from New England School of Art & Design, Boston.

I am straight.

I am of Italian decent and American born.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I was not hand-held or babied too much, I had to work out most problems by myself.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Lead by example! And be honest.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Bull-headed.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Losing it from time to time and looking like the devil when I do.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. The need to make everyone believe their children are superstars.
  6. I am happiest when I create and run free with my girls.
  7. I am saddest when I cannot solve a problem.
  8. My biggest fear. Death and illness.
  9. I am ashamed of not brushing my teeth every night.
  10. Something I need to forgive. My husband for not being more aggressive when it comes to making money.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Mom, I have always loved you and wanted to be with you more.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I tell my husband everything.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. I am trying to play bigger.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Designing the Outdoor Advertising for Nike in Miami.
  15. I wish this time now could last forever.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. Be happy, and love people.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Be firm and let your children know “They can do it.”
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I believe big time.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I will have established and grown my creative business. Oh and that I will be writing more.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I love to inspire people. I also love to push their buttons in order to take them out of their comfort zone.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Would you like to play in my sandbox?
 

37. When I Have New Shoes September 23, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:10 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 33 years old.

I am married.

I have 1 child. Here are their ages/genders: M – 10 months/3 weeks

I stay home.

I am middle.

I live urban.

I rent.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Very international – between UK and West Africa.  But not in my country of origin, so feel little confused about who I actually am.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Enjoy it.  It’s difficult.  Try and keep records of everything!
  3. Something that concerns me about my child.  Nothing 🙂
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  He had to have surgery about 3 months ago and was put under a general.  Was a wreck.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Not all – but some are SO anal about EVERYTHING!
  6. I am happiest when I’m with my boy.  When I’m in London.  When I’m with my parents.  When I have new shoes 🙂
  7. I am saddest when Hub and I argue and don’t speak for days a time.
  8. My biggest fear is something will happen to my boy and I won’t be able to help him and that when we decide to get pregnant again it will take a long time again!
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that I have a nanny.  Full-time help.  I still do a LOT myself – but sometimes I’m embarrassed.
  10. Something I need to forgive. Nasty things that have been said to me.  Forgiving is easy, it’s the forgetting that’s hard.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. WHY are you three so cliquey and unfriendly?
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I love Hub, but sometimes wonder if I made the right decision.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to be more ‘on top’ of things at home.  Especially since I don’t work anymore.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.
  15. I wish I could still earn my own money without going out to work!
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Mums usually do know best.  SHHHH – don’t tell her!
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Dad have to be present and showing love through gifts only works for a short time.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I believe.  But I don’t think I have to go to a church, temple or mosque to show that I believe.  And I certainly don’t think in-laws forcing their beliefs on you will make you believe more!
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I hope I’ll be pregnant again.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

36. Fuel for a Joyful Life September 16, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:48 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 54 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages 13 and 18/genders F/M.
I work full-time.
I am upper-middle.
I live urban.
I own.
I completed graduate.doctorate.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: WASP, from Jewish Holocaust survivor roots.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Love, intelligence, freedom and money.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  It all works out, if you can be patient, listen, and grow along with them.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I hope they will find their way, beyond their weaknesses, and find ways to nurture their strengths. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Decision was based on now, rather than longer term.  This covers all worst moments.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Mistaken belief that they have answers.
  6. I am happiest when we can laugh together.
  7. I am saddest when I can’t fix it.
  8. My biggest fear is that they will be hindered on the path, and fail to reach their maximum potential.
  9. I am ashamed of my inabilities.
  10. Something I need to forgive is the things that arise from inabilities.
  11. Something I wish I could say is that I have found solutions to the biggest dilemmas.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I will certainly not tell you.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  My ability to calculate what can and can’t be done in this tiny thimble of time.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is balancing children, husband, and clients.
  15. I wish I could find a better solution for squeezing my friends back into my life.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting is to trust it will be okay, and enjoy them just for who they are.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting is to go out of my way to do kind things, beyond expectations.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.   Raised by Atheists, I made Religion a regular part of our week, and found it fuel for a joyful life.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year is my skill level, when it comes to how I juggle duties.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above is the pain and tragedy of my clients, and how I try to help them, even in tiny ways. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Something I learned from my family,  that I didn’t realize, and would never have understood without them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

35. NYC Special: This Kind of Freedom is Invaluable September 10, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:43 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 42 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: M/9, F/3
I stay home.
I am middle (upper-middle anywhere other than where I live, NYC).
I live urban.
I co-own.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Nada. Just white.
 
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I remember long summer days spent outside with neighborhood friends far from the watchful eye of an adult. I think this kind of freedom is invaluable. I wish I could give that to my children, but, because of where we live, it’s tricky.
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. I am horrible at giving advice because every situation is different. Every child is different. Trust your instincts, I guess, would be my advice…at any stage of parenting.
    3. Something that concerns me about my children. My son worries a lot. My daughter needs constant entertainment.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). I’ve had many during this heat wave. Most recently, my daughter fell over in her stroller because she was pushing herself around in it. We were in a store and I was paying and suddenly she was tipped over backward in the stroller, crying – out of surprise more than pain. And what did I do? I yelled at her. In front of the whole store. I had told her repeatedly not to push herself around by her feet for exactly that reason. But I would have liked to have shown a little compassion. She could have hurt herself.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Competitive parenting. Ugh!
    6. I am happiest when my kids are happy.
    7. I am saddest when I don’t make time for myself.
    8. My biggest fear is losing one or both of my children.
    9. I am ashamed of my tendency to procrastinate.
    10. Something I need to forgive. My father and I had a fight years ago. We’ve moved forward but deep down I am harboring a grudge.
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I’m playing the lead in a Broadway play!
    12. Something I have never told anyone. There is nothing about myself I haven’t told at least one person. And I’m not going to tell about someone else. However, I am pretty sure I have never told someone to f**k off. Maybe kidding around, but not seriously. 
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My tendency toward excess. Looking for moderation and balance.
    14. My biggest accomplishment (outside of hopefully raising healthy, well-adjusted children) will be finishing my play about motherhood.
    15. I wish parenting counted for more in our society. I wish family and community were a more integrated and valued part of life. I wish we weren’t forced to the sidelines the way we are. I wish it were easier to keep more (or, hell, even all) of yourself engaged while raising your children.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. You never stop learning.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. You can’t always fix things, however much you wish you could.
    18. How I would describe my faith life. Non-existent.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. A lot could be different. Both of my children will be in school full-time this fall. But, most simply, I hope to have a job that pays. I miss a paycheck.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I can’t tell you. That’s what my play is about!!
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. Are you parenting the way you imagined you would before you had kids?
 

34. What Loss Feels Like September 7, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:06 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 38 years old.
I am married.
I have 6 living children. Here are their ages/genders: Boy-16, Boy-13, Girl-11, Boy-8, Boy-4, Girl-19 mos.
I stay home.
I am middle-upper.
I live urban/suburban
I own.
I completed highschool and 8 semesters of college.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am 75% Irish and 25% Polish, born and raised in the USA!
 
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My parents practiced attachment-parenting, home-birthing, whole-food-eating, alternative education LONG before these things even had names!
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Deep breaths, smile a lot, keep your sense of humor, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
    3. Something that concerns me about my children. Communicating to them the importance of their faith and their relationships with each other.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Only ONE? ha ha. I suffer from OMG (Overactive Mommy Guilt), so I have one of these moments every day, IMO.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Over-protectiveness and the need to make their children happy at all times.
    6. I am happiest when my husband and kids are all around me and no one is arguing. 
    7. I am saddest when I think about how quickly the time passes and how little time I have to impart so many lessons.
    8. My biggest fear is having one of my children break off communications with another family member or the entire family.
    9. I am ashamed of my quick temper.
    10. Something I need to forgive. Myself.
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I forgive you.
    12. Something I have never told anyone. Honestly? I am a blabbermouth who wears her heart on her sleeve, so I can’t think of a single thing that I haven’t told at least 1 person!
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Again, my quick temper.
    14. My biggest accomplishment. It’s my personal belief as a Catholic that my goal is to get all of my children into Heaven, so I am extremely proud that my daughter Fiona, who was born still on her due date, is now in Heaven.
    15. I wish I could remember to be more compassionate.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. NEVER say “NEVER”. Your children will humble you and force you to be ashamed of your own behavior as a child. My mother taught me how to be a gracious “apologetic” and an even more gracious “apology-accepter”.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. You can never be too generous with your children. Never.
    18. How I would describe my faith life. I am a Roman Catholic, a “cradle Catholic”, who has always loved being Catholic and tries her best to love and serve God.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope I will be a more patient, loving person.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I have had EVERY kind of childbirth experience you can think of! 2 c-sections (with a m/c at 11 weeks in between the first 2 babies) followed by a VBAC at home in water, followed by a c-section for a complete placental abruption, THEN another m/c at 11 weeks, then a c-section for a full-term stillborn baby. THEN, I had a planned c-section at 36 weeks with a very healthy baby, but had to have my incision re-opened 5 days post-op, and it took 15 weeks to heal from the inside out with my husband doing all dressing changes by himself. Our last baby was born by emergency c-section at 34 weeks for a complete uterine rupture. We were extremely blessed that the amniotic sac did not rupture, and she was found completely outside of my uterus in the intact sac. Other than being a bit premature, she was extremely healthy. We thank God every day for our blessings. We know what loss feels like, we know what prayer can do, we know how love lives forever.
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

33. You’ll Get Used to It September 2, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:50 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 24 years old.

I am single.

I have 1 child. Here are their ages/genders: 16m/F

I stay home for now.

I am lower.

I live urban.

I rent.

I completed high school. Working toward college.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I’m black with white (european) and latin background.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Didn’t really have much of a father figure, my dad was there physically, but it was as if he wasn’t.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Don’t ever think that it will get easier, ’cause it won’t. It will get different with the stages though, but you’ll get used to IT.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child. That her father is semi absent in her life because we don’t live together and that she’ll have daddy and abandonment issues.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Being too tired to bring her outside.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. That they think that they know best and they can not be wrong cause they’ve been doing this longer than others.
  6. I am happiest when. I’m with my child.
  7. I am saddest when. I’m not with her.
  8. My biggest fear. That one day I might not be able to provide for her and to attend to her needs. That I die before she can take care of herself.
  9. I am ashamed of. Not being able to be the mother that I wanted/need to be because of my current situation.
  10. Something I need to forgive. My parents for not being the parents that I needed them to be.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I do.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Procrastination/laziness.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My child.
  15. I wish. That change will change for the better and that I’ll always be there for my child.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. You got to put your child’s needs before your own.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. That a father is as important as a mother in a child’s life.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Confused.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. That I’ll get back on track and that I’ll be where I wanted to be in life or at least almost there.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I’m a survivor.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.