part forum. part confession. part celebration.

34. What Loss Feels Like September 7, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:06 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 38 years old.
I am married.
I have 6 living children. Here are their ages/genders: Boy-16, Boy-13, Girl-11, Boy-8, Boy-4, Girl-19 mos.
I stay home.
I am middle-upper.
I live urban/suburban
I own.
I completed highschool and 8 semesters of college.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am 75% Irish and 25% Polish, born and raised in the USA!
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My parents practiced attachment-parenting, home-birthing, whole-food-eating, alternative education LONG before these things even had names!
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Deep breaths, smile a lot, keep your sense of humor, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
    3. Something that concerns me about my children. Communicating to them the importance of their faith and their relationships with each other.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Only ONE? ha ha. I suffer from OMG (Overactive Mommy Guilt), so I have one of these moments every day, IMO.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Over-protectiveness and the need to make their children happy at all times.
    6. I am happiest when my husband and kids are all around me and no one is arguing. 
    7. I am saddest when I think about how quickly the time passes and how little time I have to impart so many lessons.
    8. My biggest fear is having one of my children break off communications with another family member or the entire family.
    9. I am ashamed of my quick temper.
    10. Something I need to forgive. Myself.
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I forgive you.
    12. Something I have never told anyone. Honestly? I am a blabbermouth who wears her heart on her sleeve, so I can’t think of a single thing that I haven’t told at least 1 person!
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Again, my quick temper.
    14. My biggest accomplishment. It’s my personal belief as a Catholic that my goal is to get all of my children into Heaven, so I am extremely proud that my daughter Fiona, who was born still on her due date, is now in Heaven.
    15. I wish I could remember to be more compassionate.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. NEVER say “NEVER”. Your children will humble you and force you to be ashamed of your own behavior as a child. My mother taught me how to be a gracious “apologetic” and an even more gracious “apology-accepter”.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. You can never be too generous with your children. Never.
    18. How I would describe my faith life. I am a Roman Catholic, a “cradle Catholic”, who has always loved being Catholic and tries her best to love and serve God.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope I will be a more patient, loving person.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I have had EVERY kind of childbirth experience you can think of! 2 c-sections (with a m/c at 11 weeks in between the first 2 babies) followed by a VBAC at home in water, followed by a c-section for a complete placental abruption, THEN another m/c at 11 weeks, then a c-section for a full-term stillborn baby. THEN, I had a planned c-section at 36 weeks with a very healthy baby, but had to have my incision re-opened 5 days post-op, and it took 15 weeks to heal from the inside out with my husband doing all dressing changes by himself. Our last baby was born by emergency c-section at 34 weeks for a complete uterine rupture. We were extremely blessed that the amniotic sac did not rupture, and she was found completely outside of my uterus in the intact sac. Other than being a bit premature, she was extremely healthy. We thank God every day for our blessings. We know what loss feels like, we know what prayer can do, we know how love lives forever.
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.

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