somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

35. NYC Special: This Kind of Freedom is Invaluable September 10, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:43 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 42 years old.
I am married.
I have 2 children. Here are their ages/genders: M/9, F/3
I stay home.
I am middle (upper-middle anywhere other than where I live, NYC).
I live urban.
I co-own.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Nada. Just white.
 
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I remember long summer days spent outside with neighborhood friends far from the watchful eye of an adult. I think this kind of freedom is invaluable. I wish I could give that to my children, but, because of where we live, it’s tricky.
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. I am horrible at giving advice because every situation is different. Every child is different. Trust your instincts, I guess, would be my advice…at any stage of parenting.
    3. Something that concerns me about my children. My son worries a lot. My daughter needs constant entertainment.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). I’ve had many during this heat wave. Most recently, my daughter fell over in her stroller because she was pushing herself around in it. We were in a store and I was paying and suddenly she was tipped over backward in the stroller, crying – out of surprise more than pain. And what did I do? I yelled at her. In front of the whole store. I had told her repeatedly not to push herself around by her feet for exactly that reason. But I would have liked to have shown a little compassion. She could have hurt herself.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Competitive parenting. Ugh!
    6. I am happiest when my kids are happy.
    7. I am saddest when I don’t make time for myself.
    8. My biggest fear is losing one or both of my children.
    9. I am ashamed of my tendency to procrastinate.
    10. Something I need to forgive. My father and I had a fight years ago. We’ve moved forward but deep down I am harboring a grudge.
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I’m playing the lead in a Broadway play!
    12. Something I have never told anyone. There is nothing about myself I haven’t told at least one person. And I’m not going to tell about someone else. However, I am pretty sure I have never told someone to f**k off. Maybe kidding around, but not seriously. 
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My tendency toward excess. Looking for moderation and balance.
    14. My biggest accomplishment (outside of hopefully raising healthy, well-adjusted children) will be finishing my play about motherhood.
    15. I wish parenting counted for more in our society. I wish family and community were a more integrated and valued part of life. I wish we weren’t forced to the sidelines the way we are. I wish it were easier to keep more (or, hell, even all) of yourself engaged while raising your children.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. You never stop learning.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. You can’t always fix things, however much you wish you could.
    18. How I would describe my faith life. Non-existent.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. A lot could be different. Both of my children will be in school full-time this fall. But, most simply, I hope to have a job that pays. I miss a paycheck.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I can’t tell you. That’s what my play is about!!
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. Are you parenting the way you imagined you would before you had kids?
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2 Responses to “35. NYC Special: This Kind of Freedom is Invaluable”

  1. Kir Says:

    Soooo glad to read you here my friend. What a wonderful share!

  2. Christine Says:

    Thanks for posting!! This was really fun.


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