ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 36 years old.
I am married.
I have 1 child. Here are their ages/genders: 2/F We are also trying to conceive a 2nd child.
I work full-time.
I am upper-middle.
I live urban.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight but not narrow.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I don’t think it’s important, but I’m Caucasian.
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
- The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My dad abandoned me when I was really young. It’s only as an adult that I realize how much of an effect that has had on my life.
- My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. If today was a bad day, it’s only one day over the course of a lifetime. You’re not likely to inflict lasting damage in a single day.
- Something that concerns me about my child. I worry that I’m spending so much time avoiding turning into my mother that I’m going to f**k her up in new and interesting ways, ways I did not imagine possible.
- My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). She was going through the 8-month sleep regression. I yelled at her to go the f**k to sleep, long before the book made it cool.
- What annoys me most about other mothers. Why the mom-on-mom hate? We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got, hoping our kids don’t end up on the news for all the wrong reasons.
- I am happiest when it’s the weekend and we’re all lolling about in our bed as a family, cuddling and giggling.
- I am saddest when the weekday starts and it’s a whole lot more sleeps until we can loll about in our bed as a family, cuddling and giggling.
- My biggest fear. I have nightmares about something terrible happening to my daughter as a small child. I can’t shake it.
- I am ashamed of how hard I am on my husband sometimes. He’s a good man and a good dad, it’s not HIS fault I feel tired and stretched too thin. He really does pull his weight around here, I just always feel put upon because there’s SO MUCH to do.
- Something I need to forgive. My dad. Not because he deserves it, but because the anger isn’t doing me any favours.
- Something I wish I could say to someone. I wish I could tell my mom to back the hell off without her taking it as an attack on her very soul.
- Something I have never told anyone.
- Something I am trying to change about myself.
- My biggest accomplishment. Being happy. Most of the time.
- I wish I had unlimited resources so I could work part-time and spend more time on myself and my family. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but I really love being a mother. I wish I could do it more than part-time.
- Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. Don’t lie. All it teaches your children is not to trust you.
- Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. It gets better. You’re responsible for bringing this person here, be there for them you selfish bastard.
- How I would describe my faith life. I’m agnostic, leaning towards atheism. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing happening when we’re done in this life, but I can’t explain why it all happened so I’m not completely discounting the possibility that a divine, celestial being set off the Big Bang. But I’m certain the rest of it happened as the scientists say it did.
- Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope I’ll be holding or at least very far along with our next baby.
- Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I was going to be a single career woman. That was my plan. Then I met a man whose baby I wanted to have. And then I had that baby and fell more in love than I ever imagined possible. Even when it’s awful it’s pretty wonderful.
- BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. “What has motherhood changed about you?”