somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

43. My Only Saving Grace October 20, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:02 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 48 years old.

I am married.

I have 5 children. Here are their ages/genders: 16-27 3 boys, 2 girls.

I work part-time for my own personal company.

I am upper-middle.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed high school & some undergraduate schooling.

I am straight!

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: American with Swedish heritage.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

1.    The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Raised in a wonderful, faithful, LDS Christian home with 5 siblings. It was busy, crowded, chaotic… but grand.

2.    My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Good luck! Becoming an empty-nester and having my children grow and leave has been the most difficult stage for me to adjust to. But, I’m doing my best and learning to embrace this new stage.  Years of developing good relationships with my children is my only saving grace. They still call and visit. So, I have 2 best pieces of advice: 1) make sure you have a good relationship with your kids and 2) have something about yourself that identifies you outside of being a mother. Once your children are gone you will find that you will have many hours in the day to fill. The wonderful thing is it won’t be filled with dirty diapers, laundry, cleaning up spills, or wiping noses anymore. So have something you enjoy doing. Something useful and meaningful. 

3.    Something that concerns me about my children. I worry most about them raising their own little families in a world that is becoming increasingly immoral and violent.  

4.    My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Do I dare tell? I’m sure I have several and you would probably get different answers depending on which child you asked. My daughter would probably tell you it was when I insisted she go to school (in 3rdgrade) even though she told me she felt sick. “You’ll be fine. Your tummy ache will go away when you get to school and see all your friends.” About an hour later I got a phone call from the school nurse informing me my daughter had thrown up all over her classroom and several of her friends!  

5.    What annoys me most about other mothers. When they spoil their children and don’t make them accountable for what they do.

6.    I am happiest when I am surrounded by my children and grandchildren. Despite the Chaos. 

7.    I am saddest when one of my children suffers.

8.    My biggest fear. I’m guessing many mothers’ fear not being a good mother. Did I do that right? I should have done such-n-such differently. My biggest fear is that I might in some way fail my children.  

9.    I am ashamed of. I’m not ashamed of too many things. Ashamed is a pretty strong word. I guess, I am ashamed of myself when I don’t exhibit love and patience as I should to my husband, children, or even the bad driver who just cut me off.  

10.  Something I need to forgive. Probably myself for my many mistakes.

11.  Something I wish I could say to someone. That’s tuff. My parents raised us to be pretty confident and not afraid to express our opinions. I should probably say the actual words “I love you” more often to my husband.

12.  Something I have never told anyone. I can’t tell.

13.  Something I am trying to change about myself. I wish I were a morning person! I have often said if I could invent any magic pill I wanted it would be one that would allow me to function on only 2 hours of sleep. Then I could easily get up early and have plenty of time to do all I need and want to do and not be tired. Can you imagine? Oh, it would be fabulous! On a more serious and realistic note I want to be more loving and charitable.

14.  My biggest accomplishment. Raising 5 amazing, talented, faithful, smart, independent, motivated children! Also, in my 40’s I swam in the Shark Fest which is across the San Francisco bay from Alcatraz to shore! And as a Grandma of 5 I hiked half-dome in Yosemite.

15.  I wish for world peace. Right? That’s what we’re supposed to say. Sometimes, actually, I just wish I could be caught up on my laundry. Is that asking too much?  

16.  Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. To love each of my children equally no matter what.

17.  Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Always fill my children with praise, praise, praise.

18.  How I would describe my faith life. My life is filled with faith. I am very active in the LDS church. I have a strong, unwavering testimony of my Savior. I love the gospel and the blessings it brings into my life. It strengthens, comforts, inspires, and guides me in everything I do.

19.  Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope I will be incredibly busy with a new company, E3imagine, that I have recently become involved with. Hoping to travel the world and help promote families and educate children.  

20.  Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I’m a sports fanatic. All our children are athletes so my back will forever ache from all the years and years and years of sitting on bleachers. Game after game. Hard bleacher after hard bleacher. Would I change it? Not one bit!

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