somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

55. She Was Right All Along! May 31, 2012

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)


I am 24 years old.


I am married.


I have 2 children, boys ages 2.5 years and 7.5 months.


stay home (for now, in the fall I go back to being a full-time student).


I am not sure what class I qualify as. My parents are very educated, but my husband and I don’t make a lot right now. I’ll go with middle.


I live rural.


I own.


I completed undergrad, and am now studying to become a registered nurse.


I am straight.


Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: My dad’s side of the family is English and came over on the Mayflower. My mom’s side is mostly Irish immigrants!

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I’m the oldest of six children and was homeschooled until 7th grade. Although I complained then, I’ve decided I want to do the same for my children and have our lives based on family.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Two under two! It’s been wild, but I love watching my boys play together. My advice is just to roll with the punches – don’t make plans or flower arrangements, and for God’s sake, no glass coffee tables.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. The state of our world. Young men, especially, are falling by the wayside as there are more temptations and less leaders to show them the way to grow.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). My baby fell out of the bed while co-sleeping. I spanked my two-year old.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Making broad, meaningless, sweeping “advice” comments to other mothers. All it is, is angling for more attention for themselves.
  6. I am happiest when I sit with my husband, the love of my life, and see God, the original love of my life, in the smiles of my children, the two newest loves of my life.
  7. I am saddest when I see children suffer.
  8. My biggest fear is that my children may suffer, too.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My father for emotionally and psychologically damaging my mother and siblings.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  Shut. up.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I weigh 180 lbs.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  The way I react in anger far too quickly – I strive to be Christ’s love in my actions every day.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My natural birth!
  15. I wish that people would open their eyes.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  She was right all along!
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Let your children be children.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I respect God, I love His personification in Jesus, and I pray that the Holy Spirit would show in my life. I struggle with remembering this every day.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I will be 30 lbs lighter!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I think. A lot.
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54. Once a Mother, Always a Mother ((Happy Mother’s Day!)) May 13, 2012

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

 

I am 68 years old.

 

I am divorced.

 

I have 4 children. Here are their ages/genders: 4 girls: 46, 41, 37, 37.  PMS was fun at my house.

 

I am retired.

 

I am lower.

 

I live urban.

 

I rent.

 

I completed Grade 11. To cool for school.

 

I am straight.

 

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Christian.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My parents were always around. My mom was a stay-at-home-mom. Most important we had a christian home.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. It has been a long time since I had children at home that I was responsible for. I did some things right and a lot wrong – but – not one died, got pregnant, or in trouble with the law (that I know of). Some of the things I learnt: Don’t sweat the small  stuff. Don’t expect perfection. Learn as you go. Work together with your mate – you are both learning how to do this job (without training). Don’t criticize your mate in front of your children. Show respect for each other and your children will learn respect. That is a lot of don’ts. Most of all love your children, be patient. Remember you are capable of so much more than you think you are!  Taking on responsibilities doesn’t mean giving up joy. Sometimes it is a great way to find it.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. As mothers themselves they need to count their blessings and be HAPPY and CONTENT with where they are at, at that moment. Cut themselves and others some slack. And ENJOY!
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). There are so many I couldn’t even list them. As for my children they tell me they don’t remember me yelling at them ever!!! So…
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. When they compare their kids to other kids, expect them to do “as good” or better in everything. All kids are different(even in the same family). God made them that way. For a reason I might add!
  6. I am happiest when my family is happy, at peace with each other, and enjoying life together.
  7. I am saddest when my children are in discord. They say it doesn’t concern me – but that is not true. It is always my concern. If it hurts your child, it hurts you more. Doesn’t matter how old they are.  Once a Mother always a Mother!
  8. My biggest fear. Something will happen to one of my children or grandkids.
  9. I am ashamed of. After working almost all my life, I will most likely need financial help from my kids in the near future.
  10. Something I need to forgive. Disrespect.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  Let yourself be happy and content. Life goes by too quickly to be otherwise. Tell the ones you love–that you do love them often, for no reason, and show it by your actions.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I am afraid a lot of the time that I am not a good enough person, that I don’t deserve to be happy — Then I shake my head and remember –I am God’s child.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. To be more confident, not to be afraid, to believe in myself. Above all to LET GOD!
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My kids! Second: surviving my divorce.
  15. I wish I could be the mother my children envision…  I am not , so they will have to accept what God gave them.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. My Mother made our house a HOME! No matter how much we had or didn’t have. We always felt safe and loved.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. My Father was a patient, kind man. He had a great sense of humour. He loved all his children unconditionally. I strive to be like him!
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I know that God has my life in his hands. I do admit that I have to remind myself of that fact many times.  There are a lot of things to think about, but nothing to worry about!
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My family will ALL be together happy and content!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  Motherhood is the greatest, unending, most rewarding job you will ever have. You need to know it will never end. Your heart and mind will always be with each one of your children for the rest of your life. SO ENJOY!  Once a Mother, always a Mother.  God Bless.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

First Post at lossoftheliving.com: “Thrown Out of the Family” May 8, 2012

Filed under: Special — somemother @ 9:14 am

You may have read about my new blog, Loss of the Living, to help cope with the lost or broken relationships by answering 10 Questions…  Like somemother, Loss of the Living poses these Ten Questions – just 10 — to help express and share the impact of the loss you are experiencing.  The hope is that by sharing, you may be able to let it go, move on, and find some relief from the grief in your soul.  In the process of doing so, you just may help someone in their own lives by reading about your experience.

The inaugural contribution has just been posted!  Thrown Out of the Family describes what happened when one woman tried to protect her nieces and nephews from the sexual abuse she herself experienced by her father, their grandfather…  Unfortunately, the outcome is not what should be expected….

Please read! Comment! Share this post!  Someone out there needs to see this…  And please consider following the blog on Twitter, subscribing, and submitting your own contribution. As one contributor described it, writing this piece is a very cleansing experience….

http://lossoftheliving.com/2012/05/08/1-thrown-out-of-the-family/

 

53. Listen to Your Gut, It’s Usually Right May 7, 2012

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:47 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am  39… years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children.  Ages 9 and 12.

I work full-time.

I am upper middle class.

I live in rural.

I own.

I have a master’s degree.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  It was challenging.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Listen to your gut, it’s usually right.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child.  He has disabilities that make learning and life challenging.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Losing my cool and making a hurtful comment I wish I could take back.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Not teaching their children to empathize and be accepting of others.
  6. I am happiest when I am running.
  7. I am saddest when my children are sad.
  8. My biggest fear is losing a child.
  9. I am ashamed about a bad decision as a young adult.
  10. Something I have forgiven is my parents for not being perfect.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I love you.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  If I tell then I will have told YOU.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself is to be more mindful in everything I do.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is overcoming adversity and getting my masters degree.
  15. I wish my children health and happiness.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting is to listen and validate your children’s thoughts and feelings.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting is to never laugh at someone’s dreams.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I believe that life is a journey in which one strives for enlightenment.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year is that I can spend less time at work.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  My greatest strength is my determination.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.   What do you do to manage stress?