somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

47. Who are you? Other than mom. December 1, 2011

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).


I am 40 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 kidsAll boys.  12, 8 and 6.  I also had two miscarriages that I don’t want to leave out.  They were a huge part of who I am too.

I stay at home.

I am upper-middle.

I live rural.

I own.

I completed high school and all but my senior year in college.  I had a fiance that I wanted to turn into a husband and just couldn’t be troubled with finishing school. 

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background:  I’m white and southern. But, not in that icky stereotypical, racist, redneck way that’s so unappealing.  

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I sort of raised myself. My mom died when I was 12.  I am only child.  And my dad dropped out by the time I was 15.  He spent most of his time with his girlfriend in our vacation home 3 hours away.  I was on my own for weeks at a time in high school.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Take time for yourself.  Do whatever it takes to give yourself a regular day off.  Preferably with a friend. I know that date nights and what not are important to marriage, but friend time is important to self.  If you want to remember who you are, spend time with a good friend.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I worry about one of my sons being too feminine.  I’m not homophobic at all. But, am afraid he’ll be picked on and hurt.  He’s a fantastic, loving kid. And I hate the idea that someone might not love him because of that.  And I want to throw up when I imagine someone hurting him for who he is. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  I have two.  My father passed away and I lost a baby the same week.  After a few weeks, I went out with friends and drank way too much.(This is not my norm.) When I got home, my husband had to run out for work for a bit.  I threw up and couldn’t get out of the floor in the bathroom.  I was there with my 4-year-old and he was scared to death.  Hands down, worst parenting moment.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I know some mothers that don’t seem to take responsibility for raising their kids.  They pass it off to the grandmothers and anyone else who’ll take up their slack.  I don’t get it.  Why become a mother if you don’t want to parent?  It’s not required. 
  6. I am happiest when I’m traveling.
  7. I am saddest when I feel overwhelmed by the housework.
  8. My biggest fear is of something happening to one of my kids.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.  I used to have a really good figure.  I had a lot of my self-worth tied up in it.  I had a really nice rack and a flat, flat tummy. And I got lots of attention for it.  And now, I am 40 pounds overweight.  I hate running into people who used to know me when I looked like myself.  But, even though it embarrasses me, I don’t do the work to make it better.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Some people who have taken advantage of me (and are taking advantage of me) in business situations.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  You are evicted.  You cannot blackmail me anymore.  Get out.  And go away. If you want a vacation house, get a job and buy one.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I am a total open book.  I tell everything.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I want to be more organized.  I am a train wreck in the organization department and I’d love to make that better.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is doing a great job with my boys.  I’m a good mother.(Except for the drunken mess when my oldest was 4).
  15. I wish we could sell everything and travel from here on out.  I’d love nothing more than remaining on a family trip forever.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  I learned that it can end too soon.  Make it count.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That even if it’s hard, you don’t drop out. You’ll screw up the people you love most if you do.  
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  It ebbs and flows.  At times, I’ve been all over it and very devout.  At other times, I hardly give it a second thought.  Presently, I’m not giving it a second thought.  😦 
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I hope that I’ll be living that dream of being on the road.  We’re working on it.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  There’s much more to me (and all moms) than what you see.  Look past the spit up and calendars and extra pounds and there’s still an individual in there.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Who are you?  Other than mom.
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42. I Am the Dairy Queen October 16, 2011

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).
I am 34 years old.
I am married.
I have 3 children. Here are their ages/genders: female 6 1/2, female 3 1/2, male 1 1/2.
I work full-time.
I am middle.
I live suburban.
I own.
I completed high school.
I am straight.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Of Polish decent.
 
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
    1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  My father was the one I went to for everything.
    2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  This too shall pass. No matter how bad things seem in a few weeks you will be onto a new stage.
    3. Something that concerns me about my children.  My eldest has fine motor skill problems that are causing her problems at school.
    4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Last night when I gave my daughter a black eye while I was playing keep away with her doll.
    5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  The competition and judging.
    6. I am happiest when I am with my children.
    7. I am saddest when I am away from my children.
    8. My biggest fear.  That my children will hate me when they grow up.
    9. I am ashamed of hating my kids in the moments the house is total chaos.
    10. Something I need to forgive.  I can’t be perfect.
    11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Don’t judge me because I do things differently then you.
    12. Something I have never told anyone. I gave my child a smack once when I was overwhelmed (lack of sleep had a lot to do with it and a child who still wasn’t sleeping at 4 a.m.).
    13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  To let go of my need for perfection.
    14. My biggest accomplishment.  The birth of my 3 children.
    15. I wish I could stay home with my kids while providing for my family.
    16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  You can fix relationships that weren’t perfect growing up.
    17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Children are the most important thing and that relationship is very rewarding.
    18. How I would describe my faith life.  It’s there but it’s more like Christmas and Easter than every Sunday at church.
    19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  That I can be home more with my children.
    20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am the dairy queen, I have been nursing for 6 1/2 years non-stop through 2 pregnancies and 1 miscarriage. I’ve tandem nursed twice, nursed my eldest until 4 and still nursing the youngest 2.
    21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

39. I Hurt More Than I Let On October 2, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:04 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 29 years old.

I am married

I have 3 living children (5-boy; 4-girl; 2-girl) & am the mommy to 10 angel babies (9 miscarriages; 1 stillbirth).

work part-time at home; care for my children at home full-time.

I am upper-middle.

I live urban.

own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.

My url. I write at Unspoken Grief.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. We were all loved & grew up to be just who we were supposed to be.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Trust your instincts. Always.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Their food challenges. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). “Failing” my children {miscarriages}.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. The need to appear perfect all the time.
  6. I am happiest when. I get ME time.
  7. I am saddest when. I think of Triton.
  8. My biggest fear. Sudden death of myself or a loved one.
  9. I am ashamed of. Very little.
  10. Something I need to forgive. Myself.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I love you.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I hurt more than I let on.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. How uncomfortable I feel when complimented. Would love to take it gracefully.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. UnspokenGrief.com.
  15. I wish. Big & all the time.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That I am doing a great job as a mom because of her.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. That I don’t need to HEAR I love you to KNOW that I am very loved.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Very different then the traditional meaning.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My professional life.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I have an amazing husband who has held me up when I fall.
 

29. Trying to Enjoy the Preschooler Amidst the Madness August 21, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 9:58 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 44 years old as of June 21!

I am married.

I have 1 daughter age 5 – 1 step-daughter 19 – 1 step-son 17.

work full-time.

I am lower.lower-middle.middle.upper-middle.upper.  I have no idea how to judge this…we are not poor, but we are struggling right now a bit.

I live urban.

own.

I completed my undergraduate degree in March 2010.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am German-Norwegian Minnesotan Lutheran.  Typical blond.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Pretty unremarkable childhood, parents still happily together, one brother, lived in the suburbs.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Which part?  The teenage step-daughter you need to just ignore is being a brat?  The teenage step-son smoking pot?  Or trying to enjoy the preschooler amidst the madness?
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  See above.  I really like when the step-daughter is off at college – the boy is fine now, just does stupid boy things from time to time – and I try to spend as much time with my child as possible.  I worry sometimes that my daughter is too sensitive, and other times worry she is too bossy!  😉
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Realizing I yell like my mother did sometimes.  😦
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. When they go ON AND ON about this or that class they have their kids enrolled in – I don’t care.
  6. I am happiest when I am doing something fun with my daughter and husband…often she and I go places alone because he was not brought up going to zoo’s, museums, plays, etc.  I was.
  7. I am saddest when my daughter cries over something.
  8. My biggest fear. Losing my child.
  9. I am ashamed of. That sometimes I wish my husband would die at work.
  10. Something I need to forgive. That my husband does not know how to save money…
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. That I don’t like her husband or how he talks to her.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. That I wish my husband would die at work…its terrible and I don’t really mean it, but sometimes when I am mad I think it!  Just hideous.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My weight.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Getting up this morning or any morning.
  15. I wish. I could find a new job.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. To be silly sometimes and not worry about the mess so much.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Enjoy the places to go in your own backyard.  Dad always found festivals, carnivals, museums, etc for us to go to.  I buy him and my child tickets to plays when I can…he loves it.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I like to go to church, but I need to get back into my own faith study instead of just teaching Sunday School.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My weight and my outlook.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I really am a pretty happy person, but I have bouts of negativity when people “do” things to me that I feel I have no control over.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

28. Pile on the Love August 19, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 1:20 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 33 years old.

I am shacked up! 

I have 3 children. Here are their ages/genders: Boy, 6, girl, 20 mos, girl, 4 mos

I stay home.

I am um… I guess middle middle? 

I live rural.

I rent.

I completed high school and a TON of college hours, but not enough of the right ones for a degree.

I am straight. Mostly.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background. I identify myself as Texan before everything else, even before American.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  My parents were married to each other my entire life, until my dad died when I was 27.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Do what you can to NOT have two in diapers at once. It’s stressful and VERY expensive.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  That they’ll have my bad habits – especially my laziness.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Was watching TV and picked my toddler up (in a dark room) and put him up on my shoulder, banging his face against the chair I was in, busting his lip. I didn’t even realize why he was screaming until I saw the blood. It was HORRIBLE. He’s 6 and I still feel like shit about it.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  When they don’t answer their kids. Mommy? Mommy? Mama! Mommy? Just LISTEN to the damn kid for a minute.
  6. I am happiest when they’re sleeping.
  7. I am saddest when they’re not here.
  8. My biggest fear losing one.
  9. I am ashamed of how much I yell.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My dad for dying on me.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  “Grow the hell up, quit whining about how hard you have it, and do what needs to be done.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Not much. I have a big mouth.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  My habit of blaming others for my problems.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My beautiful, brilliant babies. And my blog.
  15. I wish I could find a way to contribute financially, but still be home with the babies.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Love love love love love. Pile on the love.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Physical affection is important.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I am spiritual and have a strong faith. I wish I could find a church that didn’t piss me off.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I hope that we have more money, and I hope I’m bringing some of it in!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

26. Not Everyone Gets That Chance August 12, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:42 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 48 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 step-children, 41 & twins who are 39.

I am retired.

I am middle class.

I live suburban.

I own my house

I completed high school & some college.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am Caucasian but consider my ethnicity as simply American.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing:  My mother died when I was young – but I also was lucky enough to have a wonderful step-mother.  They both made a positive difference in my life.  I am truly lucky to have two such amazing women in my life – not everyone gets that chance.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  I have grand children at this point – enjoy them….they’ll remember these days!
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren).  They work hard, sometimes too hard in today’s word.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment.  The day I sent my (step)son off to war.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I have seen some with a tendency to either ignore or yell at their kids.  I understand frustration and anger, but mostly, they want you to listen and your understanding.
  6. I am happiest when my husband is happy.
  7. I am saddest when my husband is sad.
  8. My biggest fear. Getting lost.  I have a GPS in the car.  Hubby bought me a new car with an installed one as soon as they came out…isn’t he sweet?
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that I am not as generous as I can and should be.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My brother.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I would like to tell my mother that dying well was one of the best gifts she’s ever given me – she gave me the patience to help some of my older family members take their final step.  I don’t mean to be a downer, but this truly was a magnificent gift….
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Dang, I’m an open book!
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to be a healthier person through good nutrition and exercise (hence the blog).
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Marrying a wonderful man who I still adore after 28 years.  Serving my country in the US Marines.
  15. I wish.  Honestly?  For peace on earth, good will towards men.  All our problems would be solved….  Oh, I’d like to win the lottery…but who doesn’t?  I have PLANS for that money!
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  LOVE.  Simple and unconditional. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That you can change as you get older.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I am Catholic.  It is one of the many things that define me.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  That I will be healthier and somewhat thinner, my blog will have grown and I am going to England next year…WooHoo!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am happy – truly happy.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What’s your favorite food?  What’s your favorite thing to cook?  (they’re not necessarily the same thing)
 

14. It’s Not All Serious! July 10, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:49 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 30 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 children. Here are their ages/genders: 9:M, 5:M, 20m:M

I stay home.

I am middle.

I live suburban.

I rent.

I completed 1 1/2 years of college.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: White.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. 
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Take it one day at a time, and don’t sweat the small stuff.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren).  My youngest two have speech problems.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). When I accidentally knocked my oldest down the stairs.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. That they think they’re the best mom there is.
  6. I am happiest when.  My boys are happy.
  7. I am saddest when.  I yell at my kids.
  8. My biggest fear.  Kidnapping.
  9. I am ashamed of.  Quitting college.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My longtime friend saying something hurtful 10 years ago.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I wish I could tell people who think they’re better than everyone, how it really is.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Sometimes i just need to get away from my family.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  Being over weight after the kids.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My family.
  15. I wish.  I could give my kids the world.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  It’s not all serious.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I believe that u don’t need to go to church to praise him.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  Our place of living…1100 square feet is too small for a family of 5.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.