somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

54. Once a Mother, Always a Mother ((Happy Mother’s Day!)) May 13, 2012

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

 

I am 68 years old.

 

I am divorced.

 

I have 4 children. Here are their ages/genders: 4 girls: 46, 41, 37, 37.  PMS was fun at my house.

 

I am retired.

 

I am lower.

 

I live urban.

 

I rent.

 

I completed Grade 11. To cool for school.

 

I am straight.

 

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Christian.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My parents were always around. My mom was a stay-at-home-mom. Most important we had a christian home.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. It has been a long time since I had children at home that I was responsible for. I did some things right and a lot wrong – but – not one died, got pregnant, or in trouble with the law (that I know of). Some of the things I learnt: Don’t sweat the small  stuff. Don’t expect perfection. Learn as you go. Work together with your mate – you are both learning how to do this job (without training). Don’t criticize your mate in front of your children. Show respect for each other and your children will learn respect. That is a lot of don’ts. Most of all love your children, be patient. Remember you are capable of so much more than you think you are!  Taking on responsibilities doesn’t mean giving up joy. Sometimes it is a great way to find it.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. As mothers themselves they need to count their blessings and be HAPPY and CONTENT with where they are at, at that moment. Cut themselves and others some slack. And ENJOY!
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). There are so many I couldn’t even list them. As for my children they tell me they don’t remember me yelling at them ever!!! So…
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. When they compare their kids to other kids, expect them to do “as good” or better in everything. All kids are different(even in the same family). God made them that way. For a reason I might add!
  6. I am happiest when my family is happy, at peace with each other, and enjoying life together.
  7. I am saddest when my children are in discord. They say it doesn’t concern me – but that is not true. It is always my concern. If it hurts your child, it hurts you more. Doesn’t matter how old they are.  Once a Mother always a Mother!
  8. My biggest fear. Something will happen to one of my children or grandkids.
  9. I am ashamed of. After working almost all my life, I will most likely need financial help from my kids in the near future.
  10. Something I need to forgive. Disrespect.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  Let yourself be happy and content. Life goes by too quickly to be otherwise. Tell the ones you love–that you do love them often, for no reason, and show it by your actions.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I am afraid a lot of the time that I am not a good enough person, that I don’t deserve to be happy — Then I shake my head and remember –I am God’s child.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. To be more confident, not to be afraid, to believe in myself. Above all to LET GOD!
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My kids! Second: surviving my divorce.
  15. I wish I could be the mother my children envision…  I am not , so they will have to accept what God gave them.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. My Mother made our house a HOME! No matter how much we had or didn’t have. We always felt safe and loved.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. My Father was a patient, kind man. He had a great sense of humour. He loved all his children unconditionally. I strive to be like him!
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I know that God has my life in his hands. I do admit that I have to remind myself of that fact many times.  There are a lot of things to think about, but nothing to worry about!
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My family will ALL be together happy and content!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  Motherhood is the greatest, unending, most rewarding job you will ever have. You need to know it will never end. Your heart and mind will always be with each one of your children for the rest of your life. SO ENJOY!  Once a Mother, always a Mother.  God Bless.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

41. Being Selfish October 10, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:23 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 37 years old.

I am married.

I have 4 children. Here are their ages/genders: Two girls, 2 and 9, and two boys, 5 and 7.

I stay home.

I am middle class.

I live suburban.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: my dad is Jewish & my mom is catholic. 

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I had a happy childhood as the oldest of four children and we are all still very close.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Try to see the humor in everything. Things that are frustrating now will make funny stories one day. And they will learn to sleep, eventually, I promise.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I worry too much about who their friends are and about them hanging out with the “wrong crowd.”
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  I was on an important phone call and my kids were screaming and carrying on in the background, making it hard to hear. I hung up the phone and turned to them and screamed at them. I mean, literally screamed. I completely lost it. They looked at me like I was a monster about to hurt them. I stopped my tirade and then very faintly, from the phone in my hand, I heard, “um, Hello…?” There was someone on the line the whole time, and they heard everything!
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  When their children misbehave in public and they don’t try to stop it.
  6. I am happiest when.  I’m with my family (and everyone is getting along).
  7. I am saddest when.  I read a sad book. I get absorbed into the books I read and if the book is sad, I tend to let the sadness overcome me for days.
  8. My biggest fear.  Oh, I can’t say, because then it might happen.
  9. I am ashamed of.  Being selfish. Sometimes I’m so worried about my own life that I forget to ask a friend or family member about something important that they’re going through.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  I need to forgive myself for not going to the prom in high school with a nice (but nerdy) guy I knew, because I was worried about what people would say if they saw us together. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  “I’m not rude. I’m just shy and it’s hard for me to speak up.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Once I bought a bag of Halloween candy (Reese’s peanut butter cups) and I ate the whole thing. In two days. Okay, not just once.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to learn to relax, to eat better, and take better care of my body.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My children.
  15. I wish.  I had more money and less debt.  Or at least that I didn’t worry so much about money.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Relax, everything is going to be okay. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Relax, everything is going to be okay (and Daddy will fix it).
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I’m a Christian and I attend a very conservative Anglican church.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  Well, the health thing I mentioned- I hope next year I’m able to comfortably run 3 miles without wishing for death. And I hope I can get through one day without thinking about junk food.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments
 

13. I Want to Go Back to Being ME July 8, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:24 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 26 years old.

I am married.

I have 4 children. 10yo(g), 7yo(b) 4yo(g),15m(b). 

I am middle-upper.

stay home/work at home.

I live rural.

own.

I completed certificate of competence.

I am straight. 

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian/American.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringingNot much to really note. Divorced parents, father in the US Army, mother nurse, lived with mother but she wasn’t that close to me.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of childbearing that I just went throughBabysit a bratty 10 year old girl before you ever think of having a child. The older ones are trouble.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren). That they now only have one living grandparent. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Marrying the father of my son after he 9 months old, we were not together during pregnancy and needless to say divorced in 6 months
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Single mothers who are so busy looking for a husband they do not have time for their kids or themselves.
  6. I am happiest when. I get sleep of some kind and wake to happy babies not fussy under-rested ones. 
  7. I am saddest when. I feel like I have failed as a mother and do not have time/money for activities they want to do. 
  8. My biggest fear. Death.
  9. I am ashamed of. Not caring what I look like anymore.  
  10. Something I need to forgive. Myself.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Just go… be yourself.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I never pictured myself with kids, if I was a normal teen with activities and got more attention I would only have one child right now.  
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. I want to go back to being ME and not who everyone else wants me to be.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Buying a second home at 26. So ready to start new closer to “home.”
  15. I wish. My mother was still here, we didn’t really argue, she was just focused to much on finding a “new man” that she made herself depressed and lost that battle. 
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. Tell your kids you love them every day! No matter how old they are. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Even if you are not there due to time, work or money you can still be the best father in the world.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. n/a
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I will have a little more money for fun and my children will have friends over that they can see/spend the day with whenever they would like.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am not afraid of life/divorce. I have only been in a few long term relationships and 2 have ended in children and splitting up/divorce. Yes I was young but I did what I had to for my child even if that meant dropping out of school and working two jobs. I think all moms need that feeling of “If I had to do it alone, could I ?” Yes you can!
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Did you always want to be a Mother?