somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

55. She Was Right All Along! May 31, 2012

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)


I am 24 years old.


I am married.


I have 2 children, boys ages 2.5 years and 7.5 months.


stay home (for now, in the fall I go back to being a full-time student).


I am not sure what class I qualify as. My parents are very educated, but my husband and I don’t make a lot right now. I’ll go with middle.


I live rural.


I own.


I completed undergrad, and am now studying to become a registered nurse.


I am straight.


Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: My dad’s side of the family is English and came over on the Mayflower. My mom’s side is mostly Irish immigrants!

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. I’m the oldest of six children and was homeschooled until 7th grade. Although I complained then, I’ve decided I want to do the same for my children and have our lives based on family.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Two under two! It’s been wild, but I love watching my boys play together. My advice is just to roll with the punches – don’t make plans or flower arrangements, and for God’s sake, no glass coffee tables.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. The state of our world. Young men, especially, are falling by the wayside as there are more temptations and less leaders to show them the way to grow.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). My baby fell out of the bed while co-sleeping. I spanked my two-year old.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Making broad, meaningless, sweeping “advice” comments to other mothers. All it is, is angling for more attention for themselves.
  6. I am happiest when I sit with my husband, the love of my life, and see God, the original love of my life, in the smiles of my children, the two newest loves of my life.
  7. I am saddest when I see children suffer.
  8. My biggest fear is that my children may suffer, too.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My father for emotionally and psychologically damaging my mother and siblings.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  Shut. up.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I weigh 180 lbs.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  The way I react in anger far too quickly – I strive to be Christ’s love in my actions every day.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My natural birth!
  15. I wish that people would open their eyes.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  She was right all along!
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Let your children be children.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I respect God, I love His personification in Jesus, and I pray that the Holy Spirit would show in my life. I struggle with remembering this every day.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I will be 30 lbs lighter!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I think. A lot.
 

52. I Can and Will Do Better By My Boys March 30, 2012

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 35 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children. Boys ages 2 & 4.

I stay home.

I am middle.

I live urban.

I rent.

I have an incomplete degree.  Due to lack of financial support, I was unable to complete my degree in Journalism.  Hope to go back once my boys are in school full-time.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian Southern Girl

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Tumultuous.  Passed back & forth between divorced parents.  One parent was no better than the other.  I never had a sense of security growing up & felt insignificant.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Prepare for sleepless nights, spit up, sterilizing everything, but most importantly falling in love in a way that you never have before.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I have a son with congenital heart defects (2 surgeries down, likely more to follow).  My other son has Autism.  But, they are perfect just the way they are, and I’ll advocate for them until the day I die.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Sleep deprived & crying at 3 am when my son woke up for a feeding at 8 weeks.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  The ones that look at you as though you’re doing it all wrong, when they really don’t know your situation.  Also the mommy “cliques”.  It’s like high school with a baby on one hip & a toddler attached to your leg.
  6. I am happiest when we are together on the beach as a family, teaching my son to surf, watching my younger son help build a sandcastle, and both boys playing in the water with us (& sporting their super cute Spiderman life vests).
  7. I am saddest when I watch my son struggle with Autism.  When my baby is in the hospital for surgeries on his heart.
  8. My biggest fear.  Not doing enough for my children.
  9. I am ashamed of.  I don’t have a career outside of the home.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  The trauma that my mother put me through as a child, which continued through my adulthood.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  To my grandfather, who passed away almost a year ago:  You are my hero, and I love you & miss you beyond words.  To my grandmother who passed when I was 16, I love you & miss you every day.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  My mother use to send me into our local convenience store to buy her cigarettes.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  Letting go of the past, breaking the chain of emotional trauma, so that my children don’t grow up with a depressed mom.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Marrying a great man.  My beautiful, blue-eyed 4-year-old surfer boy.  My adorable, chubby 2-year-old, who loves to entertain us all.
  15. I wish.  A cure for Autism.  Meaningful, lifesaving research for congenital heart defects.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  That I can & will do better by my boys.  I will always put them first.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  My biological father hasn’t spoken to me since I was 21.  But my mom’s ex-husband, who helped raise me from the ages 4 to 14, has taught me that I have to savor every moment with my boys. He’s taught me how to be optimistic, encouraging, and he has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I’m Catholic, my husband is Jewish.  We are an interfaith family.  I really enjoy the fact that I can celebrate God in any house of worship… including out in nature to see God’s beauty, and even in my own back yard as I watch cardinals, mockingbirds, hummingbirds, owls & bluejays visit me there.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  That I will be healthy (battled illness for months now), that I will feel well enough to care for my boys with out a lot of help.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I haven’t had an easy life, but I feel blessed because I have a good husband & father as our family leader.  For every dark cloud, there is a silver lining.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  I believe that we should be raising children to not just accept their differences among their peer, rather to embrace others for who they are, regardless of race, religion or ethnicity.  It’s a tradition that every parent should pass on, in hopes that someday we will live in a more peaceful & secure world.
 

47. Who are you? Other than mom. December 1, 2011

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).


I am 40 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 kidsAll boys.  12, 8 and 6.  I also had two miscarriages that I don’t want to leave out.  They were a huge part of who I am too.

I stay at home.

I am upper-middle.

I live rural.

I own.

I completed high school and all but my senior year in college.  I had a fiance that I wanted to turn into a husband and just couldn’t be troubled with finishing school. 

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background:  I’m white and southern. But, not in that icky stereotypical, racist, redneck way that’s so unappealing.  

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I sort of raised myself. My mom died when I was 12.  I am only child.  And my dad dropped out by the time I was 15.  He spent most of his time with his girlfriend in our vacation home 3 hours away.  I was on my own for weeks at a time in high school.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Take time for yourself.  Do whatever it takes to give yourself a regular day off.  Preferably with a friend. I know that date nights and what not are important to marriage, but friend time is important to self.  If you want to remember who you are, spend time with a good friend.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I worry about one of my sons being too feminine.  I’m not homophobic at all. But, am afraid he’ll be picked on and hurt.  He’s a fantastic, loving kid. And I hate the idea that someone might not love him because of that.  And I want to throw up when I imagine someone hurting him for who he is. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  I have two.  My father passed away and I lost a baby the same week.  After a few weeks, I went out with friends and drank way too much.(This is not my norm.) When I got home, my husband had to run out for work for a bit.  I threw up and couldn’t get out of the floor in the bathroom.  I was there with my 4-year-old and he was scared to death.  Hands down, worst parenting moment.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I know some mothers that don’t seem to take responsibility for raising their kids.  They pass it off to the grandmothers and anyone else who’ll take up their slack.  I don’t get it.  Why become a mother if you don’t want to parent?  It’s not required. 
  6. I am happiest when I’m traveling.
  7. I am saddest when I feel overwhelmed by the housework.
  8. My biggest fear is of something happening to one of my kids.
  9. I am ashamed of my weight.  I used to have a really good figure.  I had a lot of my self-worth tied up in it.  I had a really nice rack and a flat, flat tummy. And I got lots of attention for it.  And now, I am 40 pounds overweight.  I hate running into people who used to know me when I looked like myself.  But, even though it embarrasses me, I don’t do the work to make it better.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Some people who have taken advantage of me (and are taking advantage of me) in business situations.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  You are evicted.  You cannot blackmail me anymore.  Get out.  And go away. If you want a vacation house, get a job and buy one.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I am a total open book.  I tell everything.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I want to be more organized.  I am a train wreck in the organization department and I’d love to make that better.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is doing a great job with my boys.  I’m a good mother.(Except for the drunken mess when my oldest was 4).
  15. I wish we could sell everything and travel from here on out.  I’d love nothing more than remaining on a family trip forever.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  I learned that it can end too soon.  Make it count.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That even if it’s hard, you don’t drop out. You’ll screw up the people you love most if you do.  
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  It ebbs and flows.  At times, I’ve been all over it and very devout.  At other times, I hardly give it a second thought.  Presently, I’m not giving it a second thought.  😦 
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  I hope that I’ll be living that dream of being on the road.  We’re working on it.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  There’s much more to me (and all moms) than what you see.  Look past the spit up and calendars and extra pounds and there’s still an individual in there.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  Who are you?  Other than mom.
 

40. Things Can’t Be Unsaid or Undone October 5, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:27 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 27 years old.

I am living common law with my “hubby” (fiance).

I have 2 incredible boys, aged two and three.

I am a full-time domestic engineer!

I am middle upper (not sure why that is relevant?)

I live in an urban city, but in a northern rural area.

I own.

I completed highschool and some post secondary education (university).

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Canadian, (Newfoundland). Heritage is Scottish, Irish and English.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. My family. and remembering where my “roots” are. 
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. It’s ok to ask for help. If you do, it doesn’t make you less of a mother, or a woman. It’s ok to not know everything. Life is a learning experience. We never have all the answers, and no one does. Take everything with a grain of salt.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. I always fear that I could be doing more. Whether its teaching more, playing more, loving more, cuddling more, snuggling more. My fear is that they will one day feel it was never enough. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). When we had to bring my son to the emergency room to have his finger glued together. We were busy with the other child while visiting my parents, and my youngest got hold of her razor and cut his finger open. I was mortified. 
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Lack of support. It seems there is ALWAYS someone judging someone else about SOMETHING. Whether it’s breastfeeding, discipline, baby wearing or whatever else….It always seems we find fault in the way others do something. 
  6. I am happiest when I am with my family. I love just relaxing with them, playing with them, just BEING with them.
  7. I am saddest when I think too much about life. There are just so many injustices in the world, and only so much I can do. It makes me sad to know how well we have it here, just for the luck of being born here. I want to be able to help everyone, but I can’t physically do that. It upsets me and frustrates me. Overall, if I think about inhumanity around the world, it  makes me sad. 
  8. My biggest fear. Failing as a mother/wife/woman/daughter/sister, etc….and spiders 🙂
  9. I am ashamed of things in my past. But am slowly learning to work past them. 
  10. Something I need to forgive. My father. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. I love you despite the hurt you have caused me and my family. 
  12. Something I have never told anyone. Can’t tell it here either 😉 
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My physical appearance (lose weight) and my mental well-being. (being more positive). 
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My children!!! 
  15. I wish that one day my children (or grandchildren) can live in a war-free world, without hurt caused by others.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. That encouragement is needed for children to thrive.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Things can’t be unsaid or undone. So choose your words and actions wisely.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. Spiritual, but not religious.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Be happy with myself, and live for myself and my family. Not to be so concerned with what others think.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. That when the world feels like crumbling, the touch of someone you love can easily strengthen the entire universe.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

24. There is No Better Teacher in the World Than a Parent August 5, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:12 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)

I am 64 years old.

I am married.

I have 2 boys, 43 and 32.

I work at home.

I am middle upper.

I live in a rural area.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I lived in 7 addresses the first 11 years, both Midwest and Texas.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Be respectful to your children when they have children.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Nothing. They are great parents.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). When my older son was 2, we took him to a park. At some point in the afternoon, I let him get out of reach and he decided to run away  straight for a cement lock with no fence.  A bystander realized I could not get to him before he fell and ran to scoop him up and bring him back. The potential was terrifying. I didn’t let him get out of reach the rest of the afternoon.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Nothing, unless they hit their children.
  6. I am happiest when I have my grandchildren with me.
  7. I am saddest when it has been a long time since I’ve seen my grandchildren.
  8. My biggest fear. Not getting to finish my goals.
  9. I am ashamed of not figuring out how to get close to my mother.
  10. Something I need to forgive. I need to forgive myself for not being a perfect mother.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. To my roomie, who died of breast cancer, leaving behind 3 young children, “I miss you.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I think my feet are perfect.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Losing that last five pounds.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Learning how to fly.
  15. I wish I was fluent in Chinese and French.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Babies cry; it’s ok.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  There is no better teacher in the world than a parent.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. You are what you do.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Financial results will let me reach a big goal I’ve been working on for five years.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn¹t been captured by the questions above. I love to write.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What advice would you give grandmothers?
 

11. Love is Enough June 29, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:36 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,
     ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 32 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 children. Here are their ages/genders: All boys, ages 4, 9 and 11

I am a teacher, so I work full-time during the school year – off all summer!

I am upper-middle.

I live rural.

I own.

I completed graduate.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I’m just a plain old white farm girl.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  My parents are still married and happy!
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Don’t sweat the small stuff, and pick your battles!
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  They do not listen to me!  EVER
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Ugh…there are so many….
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. They think that their children are so perfect, when they are such brats!  I KNOW my kids are evil!  LOL
  6. I am happiest when. My family is all together, snuggled in safe for the night.
  7. I am saddest when. I feel like I am just not doing everything I should be to ensure my family is happy.
  8. My biggest fear. Losing someone who I love so much, again.  
  9. I am ashamed of.  My weight.
  10. Something I need to forgive.   I always forgive.  ALWAYS.  Life is way too short to hold a grudge.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I am pretty outspoken and I speak my mind.  
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I have thought about suicide on more than one occasion.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  My weight – I am SO FAT!
  14. My biggest accomplishment. My babies.
  15. I wish. I had more money.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. LOVE is enough, no matter what you do, nobody will ever love you like your momma does!
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. It is ok to be firm, and to stand your ground.  Your kids will love you for it later.  
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I am a Christian, but I do not think that you have to behave any certain way to please others.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope that my husband and I can find our way back to one another. 
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comment