ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you)
I am 29 years old.
I am married.
I have 1 child. Here are their ages/genders: 4/F
I work part-time.
I am lower middle (in my area, but I guess some geographical regions might consider us upper middle).
I live suburban.
I completed undergrad.
I am straight-ish.
Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: white.
NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU
- The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Independence, DIY ethos.
- My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Be patient, give YOURSELF a time out if you must but try to be understanding to your child instead of just insisting on a certain behavior.
- Something that concerns me about my child. Cavities.
- My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Spanking and yelling.
- What annoys me most about other mothers. Putting infants in daycare.
- I am happiest when I have a little work but can get it done and hang out peacefully with my kid and have had some time to work out, too.
- I am saddest when I have no office work, my kid is acting up and I am feeling the ennui.
- My biggest fear. My emotional weirdness will affect my kid more than my love and positive attention.
- I am ashamed of having hit my kid.
- Something I need to forgive. I have already forgiven being hit by dad and ex-husband, neglected emotionally by parents at critical times and cheated on by husband (with other men, so it wasn’t that bad).
- Something I wish I could say to someone. I am often so lonely and not as together as I seem (I do a really good job of keeping it together on the outside.)
- Something I have never told anyone. Nothing, I have confessed or told one thing or another to someone.
- Something I am trying to change about myself. Being calm and more stoic.
- My biggest accomplishment. Marathons and giving birth with no drugs? Making it through college living on my own, paying my own way after marriage at 18, abuse and divorce? Doing my own legal work for my divorce at age 20?
- I wish I had more answers.
- Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. It’s OK to be a nosy, butting in mom. Better than being hands off and having the kid be adrift. Stick up for your kid.
- Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Don’t hit your kid.
- How I would describe my faith life. Meh.
- Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. Kid’s cavities will be filled and she won’t have more, I’ll weigh 10 lbs less and have my emotions under control.
- Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I am grateful almost every day for it all.
- BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. How on earth do people manage to have happy lives, with time for themselves and all there is to do, when they have more than one kid?