somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

53. Listen to Your Gut, It’s Usually Right May 7, 2012

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 11:47 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am  39… years old.

I am married.

I have 2 children.  Ages 9 and 12.

I work full-time.

I am upper middle class.

I live in rural.

I own.

I have a master’s degree.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: Caucasian.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  It was challenging.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Listen to your gut, it’s usually right.
  3. Something that concerns me about my child.  He has disabilities that make learning and life challenging.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  Losing my cool and making a hurtful comment I wish I could take back.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Not teaching their children to empathize and be accepting of others.
  6. I am happiest when I am running.
  7. I am saddest when my children are sad.
  8. My biggest fear is losing a child.
  9. I am ashamed about a bad decision as a young adult.
  10. Something I have forgiven is my parents for not being perfect.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I love you.
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  If I tell then I will have told YOU.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself is to be more mindful in everything I do.
  14. My biggest accomplishment is overcoming adversity and getting my masters degree.
  15. I wish my children health and happiness.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting is to listen and validate your children’s thoughts and feelings.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting is to never laugh at someone’s dreams.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I believe that life is a journey in which one strives for enlightenment.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year is that I can spend less time at work.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  My greatest strength is my determination.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.   What do you do to manage stress?
Advertisements
 

41. Being Selfish October 10, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:23 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 37 years old.

I am married.

I have 4 children. Here are their ages/genders: Two girls, 2 and 9, and two boys, 5 and 7.

I stay home.

I am middle class.

I live suburban.

I own.

I completed undergrad.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: my dad is Jewish & my mom is catholic. 

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I had a happy childhood as the oldest of four children and we are all still very close.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Try to see the humor in everything. Things that are frustrating now will make funny stories one day. And they will learn to sleep, eventually, I promise.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  I worry too much about who their friends are and about them hanging out with the “wrong crowd.”
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  I was on an important phone call and my kids were screaming and carrying on in the background, making it hard to hear. I hung up the phone and turned to them and screamed at them. I mean, literally screamed. I completely lost it. They looked at me like I was a monster about to hurt them. I stopped my tirade and then very faintly, from the phone in my hand, I heard, “um, Hello…?” There was someone on the line the whole time, and they heard everything!
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  When their children misbehave in public and they don’t try to stop it.
  6. I am happiest when.  I’m with my family (and everyone is getting along).
  7. I am saddest when.  I read a sad book. I get absorbed into the books I read and if the book is sad, I tend to let the sadness overcome me for days.
  8. My biggest fear.  Oh, I can’t say, because then it might happen.
  9. I am ashamed of.  Being selfish. Sometimes I’m so worried about my own life that I forget to ask a friend or family member about something important that they’re going through.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  I need to forgive myself for not going to the prom in high school with a nice (but nerdy) guy I knew, because I was worried about what people would say if they saw us together. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  “I’m not rude. I’m just shy and it’s hard for me to speak up.”
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Once I bought a bag of Halloween candy (Reese’s peanut butter cups) and I ate the whole thing. In two days. Okay, not just once.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to learn to relax, to eat better, and take better care of my body.
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  My children.
  15. I wish.  I had more money and less debt.  Or at least that I didn’t worry so much about money.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Relax, everything is going to be okay. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Relax, everything is going to be okay (and Daddy will fix it).
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I’m a Christian and I attend a very conservative Anglican church.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  Well, the health thing I mentioned- I hope next year I’m able to comfortably run 3 miles without wishing for death. And I hope I can get through one day without thinking about junk food.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments
 

27. I have a big family and I LIKE IT! August 15, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 6:34 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 34 years old.

I am married.

I have 7 children. Here are their ages/genders: 12M, 10F, 8M, 6F, 4F, 2F, 2mo. M

I stay home when I’m not running kids to various sports etc. 😉

I am upper-middle class.

I live urban.

I own.

I completed highschool and a tech school for dental assisting. I’m a college dropout though because I could never pick a major for more than one semester. 

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background. So very white.

My blog URL. http://staceysmotheringmoments.com/

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing. Hmmm. This is a tough one. I suppose my upbringing was pretty typical and boring. Is that significant?
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Laugh. Not that I always take my own advice, but when the kids are screaming and the straw that breaks the camel’s back gets dumped all over the newly cleaned kitchen floor, it’s always better to laugh. And take lots of deep breaths. This too shall pass.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children. Letting them out into the world. I’m not a “keep ’em close at all times” kind of mom, but there is some scary crap out there. 
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Oh geez. Which one? I have never professed to be a perfect mother, but probably the worst moment was screaming at my two-year-old because she had gotten into the nail polish and gotten it all over the carpet, walls…you name it. When I stopped and looked at her terrified face, it broke me. It was definitely not a mother of the year performance on my part. 
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. Their need to prove themselves. We are all just trying our hardest, why not be comrades instead of competitors?
  6. I am happiest when my children are happy.
  7. I am saddest when I screw up, as in #4. I hate that I’m so human sometimes.
  8. My biggest fear.  Alienating my children when they are teenagers.
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that sometimes I don’t even want to be around my children and pray they’ll go play at someone elses house. 
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Myself. Every day. I am so hard on myself and my downfalls. 
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. Back off lady, I have a big family and I LIKE IT!
  12. Something I have never told anyone. I don’t know. I’m pretty open.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. Yelling at my kids. I hate doing it. And yet, by the third time I tell them to get in the dang car, I lose it. I think I need more patience. 
  14. My biggest accomplishment. I ran my first half-marathon last spring. I am NOT a runner. (Ok, maybe I am now, but I wasn’t.)
  15. I wish I could go on vacation for a month to the beach and have someone else do all the hard stuff like packing and cleaning and cooking. I just want to sit and watch the kids play.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. It’s never easy.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. That it’s ok to disagree with your kids and it’s ok to apologize when you mess up. 
  18. How I would describe my faith life. So very important, but not always as much as an active role as it should be. 
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. I hope to have lost my baby weight and be training for another half-marathon
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  People think I’m amazing because I have so many children. I have a lot of people who either look at me like I’m crazy or are in awe. I am neither a crazy woman (ok, so maybe that’s up for debate) or a woman to be in awe of. I take one day at a time and I do it imperfectly. I do the best I can and I am constantly learning, sometimes the same lesson over and over again. I love my children and I love my life as it has turned out, but if you asked me when I was young what I wanted in life, who I am is not the answer you would have received. 
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments. How do you find ways to be happy in the every day monotony of motherhood?