somemother

part forum. part confession. part celebration.

31. Kids Don’t Need Your Drama August 27, 2011

 

ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 38 years old.

I am forever engaged! Been together for 11 years. Financial reasons.  One day though… One day.

I have 3/5 children. Here are their ages/genders:  12 month old Girl. 5-year-old Boy. 9-year-old Girl.  14-year-old sorta-step I consider my Daughter. 15-year-old sorta-step I consider my Son.

I stayhome/workparttime/workfulltime.  Ya, pretty much.

I am lower/lower middle/middle. Depending on the time of the year and DH current employment status.

I live in mini-suburbia.  Long story.

I rent.

I completed for certificate, but didn’t get the paper.  oops.

I am straight.  Although I think I fit “other” pretty well.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I’m Irish, Norwegian and Native American.  So, I burn, tan and have a temper about it. ;0

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  I was raised by hippies who initially believed that everyone was equal.  Then they got older, divorce and changed their way of thinking. I strive to avoid following their path.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  Invest in a good lock for the bedroom door.  When the tantrums fly, lock yourself in.  That is, until you calm down.  Then go apologize for being the bigger baby.  Kids don’t need your drama.  They have their own.
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  My 9-year-old was recently diagnosed with the early onset of Bipolar disorder.  No surprise she got it from me.  It’s under control, but it is always a concern.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far).  When I spanked my child and left a mark.  Ya, no way to make that funny.  I felt horrible.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  Umm…. hmm… Only thing I can think of is when mom’s make their kids do stuff because they didn’t get to do it as a kid, and the kid hates it.  I mean, it’s ok if the kid, and they are all into it too, GREAT! But when they aren’t and the mom doesn’t back off… ya.  That’s annoying.
  6. I am happiest when my kids do well and achieve goals/milestones/achievements, despite the fact that I am their mom.
  7. I am saddest when we are financially not doing well.  My DH is an on again/off again employed Computer Tech.  When he works, we do really well.  When he doesn’t… I get sad.  I hate the ebb and flow of it all and how my kids have to live as a result.  We do well, make the best of it and muddle through with smiles on our faces, but not without tears and worry behind the scenes.
  8. My biggest fear. They may grow up to be just like me. (this was originally my answer for 3.  Then I realized it was better off here.)
  9. I am ashamed of my actions in #4.  Since then, I don’t spank.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  Myself for #4.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.   Yes. To my Scottish would be Mom In Law: I’m IRISH.  Get OVER IT! 
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  I don’t think there is anything I have never told anyone.  I have said all I need to say.  Maybe not to people I need to say them too… but they have been said.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am really trying to come out of my shell.  (stop laughing, it’s true!)  You would be surprised how initially shy I am when meeting new people.  The anxiety I get just thinking about going in front of new large groups is almost crippling.  Now, once I get there, get to know everyone and get a beer in me…. I’M GOOD!
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Being a mom of 3.  Sounds really corny, but it too is soooo true. 
  15. I wish this was question 20.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  Whatever you expect, be open-minded and plan for just the opposite.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  Some people are just not meant to be parents?
  18. How I would describe my faith life. To each their own.  I have one.  Sort of.  Nuff said.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  Financial stability.  Finally married, maybe?
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  Zombies.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  If you had a million dollars, what would you buy… for yourself?
 

29. Trying to Enjoy the Preschooler Amidst the Madness August 21, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 9:58 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 44 years old as of June 21!

I am married.

I have 1 daughter age 5 – 1 step-daughter 19 – 1 step-son 17.

work full-time.

I am lower.lower-middle.middle.upper-middle.upper.  I have no idea how to judge this…we are not poor, but we are struggling right now a bit.

I live urban.

own.

I completed my undergraduate degree in March 2010.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am German-Norwegian Minnesotan Lutheran.  Typical blond.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing.  Pretty unremarkable childhood, parents still happily together, one brother, lived in the suburbs.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through. Which part?  The teenage step-daughter you need to just ignore is being a brat?  The teenage step-son smoking pot?  Or trying to enjoy the preschooler amidst the madness?
  3. Something that concerns me about my children.  See above.  I really like when the step-daughter is off at college – the boy is fine now, just does stupid boy things from time to time – and I try to spend as much time with my child as possible.  I worry sometimes that my daughter is too sensitive, and other times worry she is too bossy!  😉
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment (so far). Realizing I yell like my mother did sometimes.  😦
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers. When they go ON AND ON about this or that class they have their kids enrolled in – I don’t care.
  6. I am happiest when I am doing something fun with my daughter and husband…often she and I go places alone because he was not brought up going to zoo’s, museums, plays, etc.  I was.
  7. I am saddest when my daughter cries over something.
  8. My biggest fear. Losing my child.
  9. I am ashamed of. That sometimes I wish my husband would die at work.
  10. Something I need to forgive. That my husband does not know how to save money…
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone. That I don’t like her husband or how he talks to her.
  12. Something I have never told anyone. That I wish my husband would die at work…its terrible and I don’t really mean it, but sometimes when I am mad I think it!  Just hideous.
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself. My weight.
  14. My biggest accomplishment. Getting up this morning or any morning.
  15. I wish. I could find a new job.
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting. To be silly sometimes and not worry about the mess so much.
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting. Enjoy the places to go in your own backyard.  Dad always found festivals, carnivals, museums, etc for us to go to.  I buy him and my child tickets to plays when I can…he loves it.
  18. How I would describe my faith life. I like to go to church, but I need to get back into my own faith study instead of just teaching Sunday School.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year. My weight and my outlook.
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above. I really am a pretty happy person, but I have bouts of negativity when people “do” things to me that I feel I have no control over.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.
 

26. Not Everyone Gets That Chance August 12, 2011

Filed under: Story — somemother @ 10:42 pm
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ESTABLISHING YOURSELF (a few details that help somemothers know what they have in common with you).

I am 48 years old.

I am married.

I have 3 step-children, 41 & twins who are 39.

I am retired.

I am middle class.

I live suburban.

I own my house

I completed high school & some college.

I am straight.

Of note about my ethnicity and/or cultural background: I am Caucasian but consider my ethnicity as simply American.

 

NOW, TWENTY QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

  1. The most significant aspect of my upbringing:  My mother died when I was young – but I also was lucky enough to have a wonderful step-mother.  They both made a positive difference in my life.  I am truly lucky to have two such amazing women in my life – not everyone gets that chance.
  2. My best advice to mothers about to enter the stage of child rearing that I just went through.  I have grand children at this point – enjoy them….they’ll remember these days!
  3. Something that concerns me about my child(ren).  They work hard, sometimes too hard in today’s word.
  4. My absolute worst mothering moment.  The day I sent my (step)son off to war.
  5. What annoys me most about other mothers.  I have seen some with a tendency to either ignore or yell at their kids.  I understand frustration and anger, but mostly, they want you to listen and your understanding.
  6. I am happiest when my husband is happy.
  7. I am saddest when my husband is sad.
  8. My biggest fear. Getting lost.  I have a GPS in the car.  Hubby bought me a new car with an installed one as soon as they came out…isn’t he sweet?
  9. I am ashamed of the fact that I am not as generous as I can and should be.
  10. Something I need to forgive.  My brother.
  11. Something I wish I could say to someone.  I would like to tell my mother that dying well was one of the best gifts she’s ever given me – she gave me the patience to help some of my older family members take their final step.  I don’t mean to be a downer, but this truly was a magnificent gift….
  12. Something I have never told anyone.  Dang, I’m an open book!
  13. Something I am trying to change about myself.  I am trying to be a healthier person through good nutrition and exercise (hence the blog).
  14. My biggest accomplishment.  Marrying a wonderful man who I still adore after 28 years.  Serving my country in the US Marines.
  15. I wish.  Honestly?  For peace on earth, good will towards men.  All our problems would be solved….  Oh, I’d like to win the lottery…but who doesn’t?  I have PLANS for that money!
  16. Something my relationship with my mother has taught me about parenting.  LOVE.  Simple and unconditional. 
  17. Something my relationship with my father has taught me about parenting.  That you can change as you get older.
  18. How I would describe my faith life.  I am Catholic.  It is one of the many things that define me.
  19. Something I hope will be different for me by this time next year.  That I will be healthier and somewhat thinner, my blog will have grown and I am going to England next year…WooHoo!
  20. Something important about my story that hasn’t been captured by the questions above.  I am happy – truly happy.
  21. BONUS: A question you would like to see added to this list that readers can respond to in the comments.  What’s your favorite food?  What’s your favorite thing to cook?  (they’re not necessarily the same thing)